D's blog: "Angelic Blogs"

The three stages of love and Valentine's Day may - or may not - be a heady combination. The three stages of love are the same for everyone: lust, attraction, and attachment. The stages aren't separated by markers like anniversaries or particular actions (like sleeping together for the first time), but rather blend together in a long stroke of love. Alas, not everyone gets to or stays in the last stage. Three Stages of Love Lust or romantic love is the first stage, driven by testosterone and estrogen. Mating is the evolutionary purpose of this stage, creating strong physical and emotional attraction. Endorphins soak your brain and you're immersed in intense pleasurable sensations. Your lover is perfect, ideal, made for you – and you feel exhilarated and even "high" (similar to the feeling you get after you eat really good chocolate or have a great workout). Attraction or power struggles is the second stage, or the love-sick phase. You may lose your appetite, need less sleep, and daydream about your lover on the bus, during meetings, in the shower. Dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are racing through your body and brain. You're also trying to shape your lover into your ideal partner – which is when the power struggles come in. You're becoming more realistic, and you two may fight about all sorts of things like whether to buy organic food or listen to country music. The infatuation is wearing off. Attachment or unconditional acceptance is the third phase, and involves commitment, partnership, and even children (see fear of intimacy if you haven't reached this phase yet). You're aware of both positive and negative traits in your partner, and you've decided you want to build a life together. Confrontation is most likely to occur in this stage (though if you're authentic and honest, it'll also happen in the second stage), and you and your partner will either work towards a healthy, loving relationship or decide to call it quits. Or you'll fall somewhere in between, finding it easier to stay silent about things that bother you and letting your relationship limp along, unattended. Staying in Love Your partnership isn't simply a vehicle that brings happiness and contentment to your life; it's a living, dynamic creature that changes, grows, and needs attention (if you nurture it). It reveals who you really are, in all your glory and shame (if you let it). I've learned almost as much about myself in 1½ years of marriage than in 35 years of being single – and at times it's been really hard to face who I am. To have a strong, healthy love life: Focus on the things you can control: your attitude, your behavior, your words, and your energy. If you want something to change, make it your own traits or actions – not your partner's. Learn healthy ways to express your disappointment, anger, or frustration. Be honest and authentic, and kind and loving. Remember the first stage of love! Recall your feelings of lust, attraction, and desire for your partner. Think about the traits that you were attracted to, and let those old feelings come to life again. Appreciate your partner's good qualities; be grateful for the life you share. Own your feelings. Your partner can't "make" you feel stupid or worthless. If you feel unfulfilled or sad about your life, look at your own dreams and goals. Are you pursuing the life you were meant to live? Are you following your heart? Find ways to develop your personality, mind, and spirit. Figure out what will make you happy, and start creating the life you were meant to live. Consider counseling. If you've lost that loving feeling, it could be an individual thing that you need to deal with or a couple thing that you should tackle together. An objective point of view, from a therapist, pastor, or friend you trust, is incredibly helpful in providing insights and directing conversations.

I hope you’re doing fine out there without me ‘Cause I’m not doing so good without you The things I thought you’d never know about me Were the things I guess you always understood So how could I have been so blind for all these years? Guess I only see the truth through all this fear, And living without you… And everything I have in this world And all that I’ll ever be It could all fall down around me. Just as long as I have you, Right here by me. I can’t take another day without you ‘Cause baby, I could never make it on my own I’ve been waiting so long, just to hold you And to be back in your arms where I belong Sorry I can’t always find the words to say But everything I’ve ever known gets swept away Inside of your love… And everything I have in this world And all that I’ll ever be It could all fall down around me. Just as long as I have you, Right here by me. As the days grow long I see That time is standing still for me When you’re not here Sorry I can’t always find the words to say Everything I’ve ever known gets swept away Inside of your love And everything I have in this world And all that I’ll ever be It could all fall down around me. Just as long as I have you, Right here by me. And everything I have in this world And all that I’ll ever be It could all fall down around me. Just as long as I have you, Right here by me.

Give me a reason Why I'm feeling so blue Every time I close my eyes All I see is you Give me a reason Why I can't feel my heart Everytime you leave my side I just fall apart And when you're fast asleep I wonder where you go Can you tell me I wanna know Because I miss you And this is all I wanna say I guess I miss you Beautiful these three words have said it all You know I miss you I think about you when you're gone I guess I miss you Nothing's wrong I don't mean to carry on But give me a reason Why I can't concentrate The world is turning upside down Spinning round and round Now give me a reason Why I now understand the beauty and simplicity Of everything surrounding me You got a way of spreading magic everywhere Anywhere I go I know you're always there It sounds ridiculous But when you leave a room There's a part of me that just wants to follow you too Because I miss you And this is all I wanna say I guess I miss you Beautiful These three words have said it all You know I miss you I think about you when you're gone I guess I miss you Nothing's wrong I don't mean to carry on It's such a hard life and most of the time I'm just surviving That's why I want you to know In a world where sincerity has lost it's meaning You fill my world with so much hope And I miss you This is all I wanna say I guess I miss you Beautiful these three words have said it all You know I miss you I think about you when you're gone I guess I miss you Nothing's wrong I don't mean to carry on You know I miss you And this is all I wanna say I guess I miss you Beautiful these three words have said it all You know I miss you This is all I wanna do I know it doesn't sound too cool But maybe I'm in love with you You know I miss you This is all I wanna say I guess I guess i miss you Nothing's wrong I don't mean to carry on I just miss you Yeah It's true I miss you baby And when you're walking out the door I know I miss you You make me wanna ask for more I just miss you yeah it's true i miss you baby

Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin I feel you come back again And it’s like you haven’t been gone a moment from my side, Like the tears were never cried, Like the hands of time were pulling you and me. And with all my heart I’m sure we’re closer than we ever were, I don’t have to hear or see I’ve got all the proof I need. There are more than angels watching over me I believe Oh I believe Now when you die and life goes on, I t doesn’t end here When you’re gone every soul has found a flight It never ends if I’m right. Our love can even reach across eternity. I believe Oh I believe Forever you’re a part of me, Forever in the heart of me, I will hold you even longer if I can. Oh the people, who don’t see the most, See that I believe in ghosts. If that makes me crazy then I am Cuz I believe Oh I believe There are more than angels watching over me. I believe Oh I believe Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin, I feel you come back again And I believe.

Here I am - this is me There's no where else on earth I'd rather be Here I am - it's just me and you And tonight we make our dreams come true It's a new world - it's a new start It's alive with the beating of young hearts It's a new day - it's a new plan I've been waiting for you Here I am Here we are - we've just begun And after all this time - our time has come Ya here we are - still goin' strong Right here in the place where we belong Here I am - this is me There's no where else on earth I'd rather be Here I am - it's just me and you And tonight we make our dreams come true Here I am - next to you And suddenly the world is all brand new Here I am - where I'm gonna stay Now there's nothin standin in our way Here I am - this is me

Lord have mercy on my soul For I have walked a sinful road That I'm down on my knees Lord have mercy on me, please Ohh yeah Jesus, I must confess That in all my loneliness I've forsaken and I've sinned Leaving fragments of a man so broken I could tell you what I've done Or should I tell you where I went wrong? Well the more that I start to play My deceitful, evil ways Keep on growing stronger by the day Oh lord have mercy on my soul For I have walked a sinful road So I'm gonna get down on my knees Beg forgiveness to help set me free Lord have mercy on me, please Mother Mary full of grace In my weakness, I've lost faith I've been careless, and I have been warned And the devil inside me is torn God bless the men that I have scorned Oh lord have mercy on my soul For I have walked the sinful road So I'm gonna get down on my knees Beg forgiveness to help set me free Lord have mercy on me, please Woah, woaa yeah yeah Woa yeah yeah oh oh Oh-oh yeah yeah yeah, ohh So don't let me fool around no more Send your angels down to guide me through that door Well I've gone and confessed my regrets And I pray I'm not held in contempt I'm so lost, and I need you to help me repent Oh lord have mercy on my soul Oh I'm begging, I'm pleading, I'm needing I want you to know So I'm down upon my knees Oh lord, I need forgiveness I need forgiveness from you

I was childish and unfair To you, my only friend I regret, but now it's too late I can't show you any more The things I've learned from you Cause life just took you away I'm asking why I'm asking why Nobody gives an answer I'm just asking why But someday we'll meet again And I'll ask you I'll ask you why Why it has to be like this I'm asking you why Please give me an answer Many years and stupid fights Till we accept to see How it was and it'll always be Why it has to be like this Why we don't realize Why we're too blind to see the one Who's always on our side I'm asking why I'm asking why Nobody gives an answer I'm just asking why Just tell me why Why it has to be like this That the good ones disappear I'm asking you why I'm asking why I'm asking why Nobody gives an answer I'm just asking why I'm asking why...

In the winding down hours I let your heart down again (What did I do to make a scene so gory?) (I'm no better than the ones before me) Old habits die hard I always end up hating the end (What did I do to make a scene so gory?) (I'm no better than the ones before me) I'm in the middle of a breakdown Watching you scream In the middle of a breakdown Screaming at me And by the way By the way What made you think you'd have it your way? And by the way By the way Don't say I didn't warn you That I'll always stay the same Speechless and frozen Uncomfortable silence again (What did I do to make a scene so gory?) (I'm no better than the ones before me) I'm in the middle of a breakdown Watching you scream In the middle of a breakdown Screaming at me And by the way By the way What made you think you'd have it your way? And by the way By the way Don't say I didn't warn you That I'll always stay the same Battered and bruised Broken confused It's time we both knew Can't stop what I started This time we both lose, lose And by the way By the way What made you think you'd have it your way And by the way By the way Don't say I didn't warn you That I'll always stay the same The same, the same, I'll always stay the same (battered and bruised) The same, (broken confused), the same I didn't warn you that I'd always stay the same

I rolled up my sleeves today Cause I thought that this was over But then you called to say You forgot that broach of your mother's Every time I try to cut the cord You come crawling back with some excuse You forgot something There's nothing good about goodbye I could swear I saw you cry I always knew you'd wind up falling harder There's nothing good about goodbye Just say goodbye I rolled up my sleeves today Cause I thought that this had ended But then you called again To tell me how you're gonna blow my best friend And every time I try to cut the cord You come crawling back with some excuse You forgot something There's nothing good about goodbye I can swear I saw you cry I always knew you'd wind up falling harder Falling harder Every story has two sides In the he-said-she-said fight Always knew you'd wind up falling Falling harder There's nothing good about goodbye Just say goodbye Falling, falling out of you're falling apart Falling, falling out of you're falling apart Falling, falling out of you're falling apart Falling, falling out of you're falling apart There's nothing good about goodbye I can swear I saw you cry I always knew you'd wind up falling Falling out of Every story has two sides in the he-said-she-said fight She'll always end up falling Falling out of

Though you are not here wherever I go or whatever I do I see your face in my mind and I miss you so I miss telling you everything I miss showing you things I miss our eyes secretly giving each other confidence I miss your touch I miss our excitement together I miss everything we share I don't like missing you It is a very cold and lonely feeling I wish that I could be with you right now where the warmth of our love would melt the winter snows But since I can't be with you right now I will have to be content just dreaming about when we'll be together again...