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TONI's blog: "menapause ring"

created on 12/14/2006  |  http://fubar.com/menapause-ring/b34508

HELP ME OUT PLZZZZZZZZ

PLEASE GO HELP HER SHE NEEDS ALL THE HELP SHE CAN GET ~*~TONI~*LORD PLZ HELP ME HELP MY STUPID SELF!!!!!
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@ CherryTAP MUAH PRINCESS DARK ANGEL (repost of original by 'PRINCESS DARK ANGEL~ MISTRESS OF THE DARK REALM~~WHITE DOVE CT WIFEY' on '2007-07-08 21:40:17')

HELP ME OUT PLZZZZZZZZ

PLEASE GO HELP HER SHE NEEDS ALL THE HELP SHE CAN GET ~*~TONI~*LORD PLZ HELP ME HELP MY STUPID SELF!!!!!
tn_3457737771.jpg

@ CherryTAP MUAH PRINCESS DARK ANGEL (repost of original by 'PRINCESS DARK ANGEL~ MISTRESS OF THE DARK REALM~~WHITE DOVE CT WIFEY' on '2007-07-08 21:40:17')

HELP ME OUT PLZZZZZZZZ

PLEASE GO HELP HER SHE NEEDS ALL THE HELP SHE CAN GET ~*~TONI~*LORD PLZ HELP ME HELP MY STUPID SELF!!!!!
tn_3457737771.jpg

@ CherryTAP MUAH PRINCESS DARK ANGEL (repost of original by 'PRINCESS DARK ANGEL~ MISTRESS OF THE DARK REALM~~WHITE DOVE CT WIFEY' on '2007-07-08 21:40:17')

Dear Kotex

Dear Kotex, I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as: Staying active during y our period can relieve cramps. Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches. Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh. Try Kotex blah blah blah other products... Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya... See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-friggen-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, the only activities that interests me is eating..sleeping..bitching or crying for no apparent reason.. ...and oh...does ripping someone's head off count as a friggen' activity????? Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol & barbituates. Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and is enough to send a girl running to the Always brand. It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the crap in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer. There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don't ya just add an in-store microphone to the damn package & announce that...helloooo, another female in the store is on the rag!!!!! So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the smiley faces and shove them right up you're a$$. PS: How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a shot of Bourbon to your packages instead?

MEAN MOMS

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you enough . . .to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home. I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep. I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes. I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect. I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart. But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them. Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too. Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16. Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms!
Your Fortune Is
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Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

A RAY OF HOPE

Read this poem, pass it, and pray for all of the children who are currently fighting cancer, have passed away or who are now survivors. These special children have an amazing way of showing each and everyone of us a little ray of hope. This poem was made for all of you!

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"Gold Wrapping Paper"

"Gold Wrapping Paper" I received this from a friend who had a choice to make.It said that I had a choice to make too. I've chosen. Now it's your turn to choose. The story goes that some time ago a mother punished her five year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and she became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box to put under the Chris tmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her mother the next morning and then said, "This is for you, Momma." The mother was embarrassed by her earlier over reaction, but her anger flared again when she opened the box and found it was empty. She spoke to her daughter in a harsh manner. "Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package?" She had tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Momma, it's not empty! I blew kisses into it until it was full." The mother was crushed. She fell on her knees and put her arms ar ound her little girl, and she begged her forgiveness for her thoughtless anger. An accident took the life of the child only a short time later, and it is told that the mother kept that gold box by her bed for all the years of her life. Whenever she was discouraged or faced difficult problems she would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there. In a very real sense, each of us, as human beings, have been given a Golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, family, friends and GOD. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.
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