GingerVonSleaze's blog: "MUSIC IS THE GLUE OF THE WORLD.."

I force myself through another day
Cant explain the way today just fell apart like everything
Right in my face
And I try to be the one
I can't accept this all because of you
I've had to walk away
From everything

I'm afraid to be alone
Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone
I'm afraid to come back home

Another sleepless night again
Hotel rooms my only friend
And friends like that just don't add up
To anything
And I try so hard to be everything
That I should never take away from you again
'Cause I heard ya say

I'm afraid to be alone
Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone
I'm afraid to come back home

I cannot forget
I live with regret
I cannot forget
I live with...

I'll live through this
I can't see through this
I can't do this anymore

I'm afraid to be alone
Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone
I'm afraid to come back home

Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone
I just wish I was back home
Home

I'm still crying and I don't know what to do
I'm still trying to forget all about you

soon enough I will be over you
it won't matter where you are or what you do
someday I hope to forget that we ever met
just as soon as I'm through crying

I'm still crying and I don't know what it might be
that just when I think that I don't miss you
this crying comes over me


I hope to forget that we ever met
maybe then I will stop crying

A witch will burn
when she's thrown into the fire
Not her she'll peel and writhe
but never expire
She crawls on webs of lies
I die up inside her
to take what's mine
that bitch the cinnamon spider

I won't try
and every time I tell that lie
I live without guilt
and I won't cry
and I hope you love your life
and live with your guilt

Consumed by hate and guilt
She'll never retire
too old to fix
too dead to ever acquire
slit wrists - talk shit
But she will never inspire
a plan to save herself
the cinnamon spider

I won't try
and every time I tell that lie
I live without guilt
and I won't cry
and I hope you love your life
and live with your guilt

bite heads off those who fail
and try to imply her
forlorn despised
I am the cinnamon spider

I won't try
and every time I tell that lie
I live without guilt
and I won't cry
and I hope you love your life
and live with your guilt

and I am fine
and I'll learn to take what's mine
and live without guilt
Oh yeah

got this feeling when i heard your name the other day
couldn't say it, couldn't make it go away
it's a hard place, can't be friends, we can't be enemies
it's just too much, feel the weight crushing down on my face

the hardest part is things already said
getting better, worse, i can not tell
why do good things never wanna stay?
some things you lose, some things you give away

broken pieces, try to make it good again
is it worth it, will it make me sick today
it's a dumb song, but i'll write it anyway
it's an old mistake, but we always make it, why do we

this time, it'll be alright
this time, it'll be okay

In the pretend world
We all are very awake
In the pretend world
We all look sterile and fake
In this atmosphere
We all could chatter for days
In the pretend world
We never admit our mistakes

But in the real world
Were hiding alone and ashamed
And we cant live while
Because were addicted to pain
You see I cannot feel this
No matter how you try
In the real world
We cant deny

In the pretend world
We gaze into empty eyes
We have to amuse ourselves
With adultery tales and white lines

But in the real world
Where fools tormented for sport
We just stitch up our mouths
So we cant admit or retort
You see I cannot say this
Please don't ask me why
In the real world
We cant deny

You see I cannot feel this
No matter how you try
In the real world
We cant deny

You see I cannot say this
Please don't ask me why
In the real world
We cant deny

In my pretend world
We all are very awake
In this atmosphere
We all look starstruck and vague
You see I never loved you
No matter how you tried

In the real world
There's no goodbye

Last night I had a dream that we went to Disneyland,
Went on all the rides, didn't have to wait in line.
I drove you to your house where we stared up at the stars
I listened to your heartbeat as I held you in my arms.

We hung out at the rainbow where we drank til' half past two.
Nothing could go wrong anytime that I'm with you.
Like crashing a hotel room or leading up to that first kiss
Or searching for a high school that you know doesn't exist...

These are the things that make me free
I feel like I'm stuck in "stand by me"
This night was too good to be true.

Today I woke up alone wishing you were here with me,
I wanted us to be something that we'd probably never be.
Today you called me up and said you'd see me at our show,
But now I'm stuck debating if I even wanna go.

Whitney, don't you understand that what I say is true?
I just want you to know I have a major crush on you.
I'd drive you to Las Vegas and do the things you wanna do
I'd even have Wayne Newton dedicate a song to you.

I only wish that this could be
Just dump your boyfriend and go out with me
I swear I'd treat you like a queen.

No one knows where
I buried my sweet Virgina Madison
the winter chill falls over me
and keeps me numb inside
under the moon by the edge of town
she'll quietly wait for me
I promised it wouldn't be too long
till I returned to sleep with her
she said she don't wanna live no more
well I don't mind
no I don't mind
so now I'm waitin' for the crack of dawn
to head on back there
to the place where me and her will always be
now I got my Sunday vest
and I'm headed out that door
dig my fingers deep in soil just to get to her
all dressed in black and she's so pale
she's waiting there for me
a blanket of soil covers us
to fall asleep in eternity
and now I close my eyes
when I awake with a snap it was all a dream
I gotta empty bottle of something under me
I gotta really bad headache
my clothes are soaking wet
at times like this I wish I hadn't slept
star locked gaze, uneasy hands
then the dream fades away
and leaves my head
another riddle another dream
another fucked up fantasy
gotta learn to stay away from all this tv
she said she would always wait for me
well i don't mind
no i don't mind
so now i'm headin' to the place where i
burried my sweet virginia madison

A '63, 10,000 miles. What was I thinking?
I drove myself insane. No small getaway
Asleep with both hands on the wheel
White knuckle weekend
Chewing ephedrine
Going to an unnamed end
Unending...
We met in rain, you asked me in
Seemed like a good sign
Now I need a guillotine
To get you off my mind
I brush my teeth until they break
Until I start bleeding
So when I smile I'll know
I'm almost good enough for you
And would you...
Follow me to the end of the dare
Raise your eyes, return the stare
Become your words
Your words so becoming
On any Sunday I'll be there
I tried to drink you off my mind
I just got waisted
It only made the pain that much more acute
But cute
Isn't stong enough a word
Unintentionally gorgeous
An accidental charm
A graceful drinking arm
Disarming...

monday
sunshine
so high
it's hard to see
through the sunday clouds still lingering
how you wound up in the sea
spinning above
while burning inside
further you go and deeper you dive
don't mean to deceive
but it's they who believe
they fall in love
with the girl they perceive not you

blind them with kindness
until they are reminding they're lonely and desperate
and you have a secret
it's something they all think they need
spinning above and burning inside
further you go and deeper you dive
don't mean to deceive
but it's they who believe
they fall in love
with the girl they perceive not you
they see what they want in you they
get what they need from you
they take advantage of you
they would be nothing without you

I'm not quasimodo or the elephant man,
but you treat me like i am.
I'm not a lepor.
I don't have a disease, but you won't speak to me.

Who the fuck do you think you are treating me like that.
You must think that you're God's gift to man, and
i'm not good enough for you.

Fuck you too.

You're no goddess, no fucking way.
You couldn't be Miss U.S.A.
You ignored me, you blew me off.
You didn't even give me a chance.

Who the fuck do you think you are treating me like that.
You must think you're God's gift to man, and
i'm not good enough for you.

Fuck you too.