littlerunaway2005's blog: "MY POETRY BLOG"

I've known you for a while now... You've been a friend from the start. I wish I had the courage to tell you that... You've changed the beating of my heart. It no longer beats to keep me alive... It beats with longing and desire to be here by your side. Although you may never hear what's locked within my heart... Maybe writing what I feel in this poem is a good place to start. If I should ever find the strength... To reveal to you what I feel. I hope that you will realize that I love you... And I always will.

When lonliness sets in... I pick up the phone and call a friend... My lonliness ends. When confusion fills my mind... I pick up the phone, I call a friend. Thankful for the point of view on the other end... my confusion ends. When anger fills me... I pick up the phone, I call a friend. Greatful for the rational mind in my friend. When Pain has taken over... I pick up the phone I call a friend. The soothing voice on the other end numbs the pain. When something good happens... I pick up the phone, I call a friend. Happy to share the results that have come from listening to my phone friend. Thank you, Ken.

I Long I long to end the miles between us. I long to feel your strength. I long to hear your heartbeat. I long to be controlled by your pace. I long for just one time...I long for just one day. I long to totally lose myself in the warmth of your embrace.

You look at me with a cold blank stare. Could it be because in your heart of hearts... You wish I wasn't here? Unable to figure out as you scream at me... And strike me with each mind crushing blow. Why I won't give up and just let go? Yet you scream the answer you seek in between each punch you throw. "This is to teach you to be strong and to help you to grow." So you see... You taught me to be strong...you helped me grow. I stood there and took each blow... Chose to only strike back within the depths of my soul. Should this be the wisdom imparted on a ten year old? The answer to this...I still do not know. Does anyone know?

Today I gave consent to let you go.. Your light...my darkness... No more tubes... your light.. You are leaving me.... my darkness. No more pain... your light... My pain begins....darkness... You return home.. your light... I go home,alone...my darkness... I think of you...your smile...I see light... The memories of laughter, The way it felt when you touched me... I see light... I use the light you have left in my heart and mind to survive... Yet I wonder will I ever find the light again here on earth... Will I forever need your light to come out of my darkness? Written about the loss of my husband.

"How can you be so stupid?" "I will never be smart" "Why are you so sloppy?" "I will never be neat." "I have never loved you." "I will never be loved." "I never wanted you." "I will never be wanted." "Why do you make me hit you?" "How do I make you stop?" "I never wanted a child like this." "I will never be like you" "I wish you were never born." "I wish I was never born."

The image of your face is stuck in my mind. Why...Why you? Why me? The sound of your voice comforts my soul. Why...Why you? Why me? The sound of your laughter brings a smile to my face when I feel low. Why...Why you? Why me? Your deep throated moan ignites a fire in me. Why...Why you? Why me? Why is it you that gets to me? Why...Why you? Why me? Why....

Getting shot won't hurt. He will squeeze the trigger back. The bullet goes whack. She will go black. She will go to a place where her love and beliefs will remain intact. Never to look back to see a man who only knows how to attack. Why would she when heaven will give her all of the things he life lacked? Love... peace.... joy... Getting shot won't hurt. He will squeeze the trigger back. The bullet goes whack. She will go black. Now she waits for him to make his final attack,and wonders what he would feel if the end of a barrel was what he was looking up at? He will squeeze the trigger back. The bullet goes whack. She went black. She never once looks back. Finally she has all that her life lacked.. All because he made his final attack, he squeezed the trigger back and the bullet went whack.

You taught me to be strong... To said and fight for the things in which I believe. Taught me to take life one day at a time... To allow the things that bother, to roll off of me. Taught me to speak my mind... Not to hide everything within the walls of me. Taught me to stand tall... To be confident of who I have grown to be. Taught me not to hide... To let my feelings out of me. Taught me that friendship like this... Can be great, but doesn't last. Taught me that I could never be... The kind of friend to you that you were to me. Taught me that you are now... The weak person I used to be. Taught me to ask myself with nothing but silence from you... Why couldn't you allow me to be the the same kind of friend to you?