Ladysadness's blog: "poem"

I sit here, entrapped by this dark world My mind is full of crazy ideas My thoughts corrupted My feelings changed I really don't want to go through this again Why me? That's all I really want to know Why me? Where is there to go? I need answers, I need help I need somebody to save me from all hell I need love, I need support I can't take people closing doors on me anymore I need an open door, someplace to walk into Someplace where I'm loved, someplace where I'm needed I need the truth I need proof I'm corrupted by these evil visions Seeing what people only fear of seeing I think that I just might go insane I really can't go through this all again Please help, please tell me I'm loved I need answers, maybe help from up above Maybe I'm sentenced to damnation Heaven is maybe out of the question I guess maybe it's my fate So why must I wait? Maybe I should leave now, someway, somehow Just let me go Leave me be You will see You don't need me Soon, I'll be free

Trapped in this mask of my own creation Still here, living out my damnation I can't feel nothing, I'm so numb Walked on and spit on like some crumb I feel like I'm not there in this cruel world In this full existence People stare, then look away And I'm left in the glare I spend my life, trying I can't stop your lying You step on me You break my mask Now these emotions I must show Now I'm exposed Pure emotion I must face Seeing what I thought I could ignore Now all I hear is them laughing at me Now they see me cry They see me bleed I can't live this way I just give up I'll drown in my own sorrow Never to breathe again

I hate these feelings I get everyday Feelings of isolation I'm scarred in dismay Alas, the thought in me has awoken I'm broken Can you make it all better? Please tell me you can Save me from life's evil plan Unspoken, these feelings in me have awoken I'm misunderstood Told I'm nothing good I wish for closure I wish for hope I wish for the ability to cope Inside, I'm crying Asking myself why? Why I go from day to day Letting these feelings consume me this way I scream loud In this faceless crowd But nobody hears I feel so weak My soul is tired Love is all I require Can you give that to me? I'm empty inside, can't you see? My heart was taken away from me I want to fly away Runaway from all the world But I know I can't I'm stronger than that Running from all the world Is something too weak for this girl

The day has finally come! As days went by I thought I was fine, no pain and no sorrow. The day finally came your out of my life for sure, but why do I feel the pain more then ever. I thought everything that was happening was only a dream and you'll finally change.I was wrong and it hurts so bad, you lied and played with my emotions, but i was the fool to let you in. I live in a fantasy thinking your thinking of me and that im all you ever want.Well little birdy fly away and never come back.You left me confuse and wanting to cry.If i cry and let my tears out will it be ok, or will I die. My heart, my soul, my mind is tired but all I see is memories of you and I. Now Im all alone in the dark thoughts of you, but all I hold is a pillow and memories of you. I try to cry but I cant am I all out of tears or is it if I let it out I will die.Old wounds cover by new wounds, should I be cold or is it that my heart has turn cold and into stone. The day has finally come and i dont know what to do. Should I jump or should I cut or should I blow myself away............... I wonder what would be my pleasure, Im lost and confuse and my depression is taking over me. I thought there was a God There isnt a God If there was why do I have to suffer so much. The day has finally come, and your not here anymore. The walls and my sanity are being isolated, I thought I can over come the fear, But why I feel like I want to scream and no one can hear me. Not even God the one I thought I can count on has falled me. ( I can't even finish this fucking poem or writting what ever you want to call it, Please let me fucking die. Im tired of excuses and tired of living for someone else, that one day I know won't even fucking appreciate me and all the shit I have gone through for them.......................

THE GAME IS OVER I BEEN LOCKED UP IN YOUR HEART SHAPE BOX FOR TO LONG. I BEEN COUGHT TRAPPED IN YOUR GAMES AND IM SICK OF IT. JUST WHEN I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT YOUR JUST THE SAME AS THE OTHERS........... PLAYING GAMES THAT DONT MAKE NO SENSE.YOU PLAY THE ROLL OF THE CHARMING, INNOCENT, AND THE ANGEL SENT FROM UP ABOVE, BUT YET YOU THINK YOU CAN USE ME TO BE POPULAR. I WAS PLAYING THE GAME ALONG WITH YOU, BUT I REALIZE I WILL NEVER WIN THE GAME, THERES A DIFFERENCE......... IM LOST IN MY WORLD OF DARKNESS AND THIS WOULD NEVER LET ME BE THE PERSON YOU WANT ME TO BE.YOU SAY YOU UNDERSTAND, BUT YOU DONT. YOU WANT TO DO THE SAME THING'S I WANT TO DO................ BUT CAN YOU HANDLE MY PAIN AND CHASE AWAY MY FEARS. CAN YOU WIPE MY TEARS, AND MAKE ME SMILE. ARE YOU REAL OR JUST A VIVID OF MY IMAGINATION.......... JUST WHEN I WAS LEFT FOR DEAD YOU BROUGHT ME BACK TO LIVE, BUT WHY DO I FEEL LIKE IM DYIN ALL OVER AGAIN.THERES SOMETHING WRONG, IS IT THAT I LEARNED YOUR GAME AND IS TIME TO SMELL THE COFFEE AND END IT, LIKE ALL THE OTHERS GAMES............ OR IS IT MY MIND PLAYING TRICKS ON ME, BUT IM TRAPPED IN YOUR HEART SHAPED BOX PLAYING YOUR GAMES AND IM SICK OF IT.WOULD THERE BE AWAY OUT................ WELL, IS TIME TO END THE GAME................

Dark Angel The darkest angel of my mind Comes to take me away Into the night I leave all the cares behind To be forgotten until morning comes And when keeps me I am safe You cannot hurt me anymore For this dark angel loves me A love that cannot be Undone He forgives me for all that I have done And I know that he will always He knows me best So when he comes to get me I know he will keep me But what about when morning comes? When my love has left with the night And not to return? You hurt me once more As I knew that you would It doesn't hurt as much Because when I go to sleep Someone comes to make it all better My darkest angel Always keeps me Until morning parts us....

~*Land of Tears*~ I sit here and I cry And watch my dreams pass me by I sit here and I scream And the reality is not what it seems I sit here and I beat on the wall And I fear I am losing it all I yell at souls invisible to me And realize I am not all I could be I stare at the blank wall And realize I am beginning to fall I ridicule a falsely based reality And realize I am losing my entirety I have put up with this dread for all these years And now I have discovered my home in the land of tears.

Absence the absence of love of the care that I crave when you look at me and say those three words damn them they mean nothing to you never for me the way that you look at me why do you hate me? I am your blood, your own and yet you deny me am I not good enough? have I not laughed enough or smiled enough? Have I not good enough or cried enough? What do you want from me? You tell me not to run away, but do tell me why not. I really want to know Do you want to konw what I think? Course not but I think I will say it anyways Your lying to me. You tell me you love me, and sometimes I think you do. But you never talk to her the way you talk to me you never hit her like the way my face gets sore It hurts my heart most when you call me those things "I love you Lilly" and even though I dont want to I still "I love you too Dad"

The fallen angel he sits and cries The fallen angel, wishes he could die The fallen angel, he's so angry can't you see? This fallen angel, he means so much to me This fallen angel, he's seeking revenge The pain, he can't seem to mend This fallen angel, wonders why he cannot just die The pain, he tries to hide He tries to be strong, he knows he has to go on For he is other's fallen angel, and they need him by their side So he walks with them, he walks with a gentle stride He is their sanctuary, somewhere to hide Yet this fallen angel seeks revenge He wants to avenge all the pain This fallen angel doesn't want pain again Seeing all his closest friends getting hurt over and over again Somehow, this fallen angel needs to mend all the hurt he feels inside My fallen angel, please don't cry I'm here for you, wiping the tears from your eyes My fallen angel, I love you, can't you see You mean so much to me I need you now, I need you here with me I'll help you end the pain Help you avenge it Help you end it My fallen angel, I'll make sure you never get hurt again I care for you, can't you see? You're so very important to me It's hard for me to speak the words that are so so true But I love you, and I don't want to lose you My fallen angel, please don't cry I'm here to wipe the tears from your eyes The tears it seems too hard to cry You're constantly asking yourself why? My fallen angel, I'm here for you now My fallen angel, I'll make you happy, someway, somehow My fallen angel, please don't cry Walk among us who need you, walk with us in a gentle stride My fallen angel walk with me, talk with me, I'll make you see That you really are needed, you really are loved That you mean so much to me My fallen angel, please don't cry I'm here now, forever more Forever and for always To wipe the tears from your eyes To help you end the pain My fallen angel, I'll make sure you never have to go through it all again.