10 Traits of a Good Husband
Becoming a good husband takes work and practice, but the payoff is huge -- a lifetime, loving marriage.
Care2 Healthy Living Channels offers 10 guidelines to help men become a good husband and strengthen their marriage. But even though this was written primarily for men, the reality is that it also works for women.
1. Learn how to empathize
Empathizing with your partner is showing you understand. It doesn't mean you always agree; instead, it means you're willing to listen without judgment. Practice by telling your partner what you think you heard. If you got it right, you are empathizing.
2. Stop trying to be an emotional Mr. Fix-It
Don't try to solve your wife's problems. Instead, just listen and tell her you understand how she feels. Be her cheerleader, just as she is your cheerleader.
3. Own your stuff
Deal with your own personal emotional issues. Love yourself -- even the flaws. And just be there as your wife does the same. If your personal issues are too big to deal with alone, get professional help.
4. Speak your heart
This is hard to do and requires total honesty. Make "I" statements instead of "you" statements. Don't say: "You're thoughtless and selfish because you forgot my birthday." Do say: "I felt so hurt and not cared for when you forgot my birthday." No one can argue with an "I" statement.
The Heartbeat
5. Avoid being judgmental
Keep this in mind: Where there is judgment, there is fear. Understand that you are both flawed -- hey, we're all human -- but capable of self-acceptance.
6. Be generous and fair
Make your shared living expenses proportional to your different incomes, especially if one of you makes less than the other. Work together to make your lives as financially secure as possible.
7. Think like part of a team.
Your wife is not the enemy. You two are on the same side. Use the pronoun "we" a lot! (Besides, women love to hear that.)
8. Be affectionate.
Women crave tenderness and affection more than hot sex. Take the time to cuddle and just be close.
9. Own up when you've messed up
It takes a big man to admit he's wrong, apologize and really mean it. But this is the only thing that will heal the hurt you may have caused -- even unwittingly.
10. Care about her well-being
In a mature marriage, partners care for each other as much as they selfishly care for themselves.
