I'd think I'd have something witty to say here, but right now I'm just going down on the up and down emotional roller coaster, I know it won't stay like that forever, and I'll bounce back like I always have, but that doesn't comfort me.

Because with every up must come the eventual down, and the down is what sucks (obviously).

I have an idea, something I have trouble conveying that idea in terms that make sense to most people (or at least in a way that they'll consider it)

Lets say Open Relationship, and one thing comes to mind, polygamy, and something else, swingers, and something entirely different, what I'm looking for doesn't have a term yet falls a bit under each of these. See the dilemma?

And not being able to adequately describe what I'm looking for really frustrates me. Being a constant contradiction of my passion, lust, sense, reason and honor really wears me down, I can't just let go like I really want to cause the world doesn't accept that at all, but yet if I hold back, nothing ever happens on its own.

I'll be surprised if anyone ever even reads all of this (and if you do, message me), but at least I feel better letting some (if but a small part) of the world know how I feel.

Then again, if your up for trying something new out, throw me a line and I'll share as much as makes sense in my head.