September 16, 2006, 01:59:am
Ok so I'm in the mood to talk about some of my goal reward type things. Not really sure I should call them rewards but the things I will do when I get the weight off.
I'm definatly going to be getting a complete full new wardrobe. I'm actually gonna have clothes for each season again too. Not just wear what I have until they are threadbare and holey. I want JEANS lol, and leather and skirts and shorts and nice shoes and jewelery and omg there are so many things I want. When I was thin I was a clothes horse big time lol. I'm gonna be worse this time. I want to look good in clothes and make clothes look good lol. Well its true! The clothes make the purrson while the purrson makes the clothes! I'm gonna be one hot mamma hehe.
Another thing I am going to get is a motorcycle. Sue is going to take the money she saves from quitting smoking with me to save for a bike. She got me interested lol so I'm gonna do the same. I've always wanted a harley. I've only rode on a motorcycle 1 time and omg I've never forgotten it! Such a rush. I'm gonna have a leather jacket custom painted for me. That is something I planned on doing when I got out of the army but it never happened.
I'm gonna take some trips too. Got several friends to meet in the USA. I want to visit Australia (originally it was to visit the Irwin zoo and the big rock that I can frigging picture in my mind but danged if I can remember the name of it, its been a goal of mine to hike that thing for about 10 years now lmao but I would like to meet a couple friends if they want to lol. You know who you both are ;)) I also intend to take a cruise to Alaska.
Scottland and Ireland, be warned, the Katts coming some day lmao. I have to go to Ireland, Kildaire actually to visit Brigit's shrine. Scottland cause I'm a huge Highlander fan and some of the scenes they showed are so mind blowingly beautiful I have to go see them for myself. Of course I want to go see Englands Stonehege. Stonehege and Brigit's shrine are religious treks for me (I'm ecclectic pagan, leaning towards Celtic tendencies and Brigit is my Goddess).
I also would like to visit some of the Mayan temples. Goddess, there are just so many places I want to see. Maybe I'll hit it lucky and win the lottery lmao. If I did, I'd be traveling for years. Many of the place I want to see though are ancient pagan religious areas.
To be able to spend even just a few moments in areas where the Gods have deemed sacreed would just blow me a way.
I, more then anything though, really want to be able to find a Shaman to go apprentice under.
I realize most of my hopes are just that, hopes. But I will achieve some and will enjoy dreaming about the others lol. It can be fun trying to imagine how things are in other countries. How other cultures differ from what I'm used to.
My most important reward though is going to be feeling alive. Feeling as if I am worth paying attention to myself for. To stop denying myself the pleasures in life that I do deserve. To enjoy, actually enjoy my life. To stop making myself a caged animal. I should feel that way now but its hard. Specially when going in public means having people snicker behind smiles. But thats ok, when I do get to the point of being where I'm outgoing, I'll remember those who have accepted me for who I am now, the blimp and will hold them dearest to me.
Ahhh, its been fun to dream and plan tonight. To have something to look forward to for giving up all that I am going to. To know that this time next year, I'll be well on my way to reaching my goals. See, when I get at least half of this weight off, I'm going to find a part time second job and going to put all that money into my life stlye fund for when I reach my full weight loss goal. I'm gonna bust my ass off to be able to pay for what I deserve lol. This Katt knows my hard work will be worth it :)
More to be written later.
