September 29, 2006, 11:09:pm
Guess tonight will just be a rambler, but then again any time I talk its a ramble lol. Oh hush to my friends, I'm allowed to tease me about me hehehe.
Anywhoo, so far I've not quit smoking totally but have determined that Sunday Oct 1 is the day. No ifs, no ands, no buts (literal and figurative hehehe). I'm going to do a sort of ritual and Sue is gonna go with me. I'm gonna take all the cigs I have left and go to a stream near by and I'm gonna bury some for Earth, burn some for Fire, throw some to the Wind and the rest shall go for Water. The Spirit, well thats my giving them up and proving to myself and the Lady that I am worth her picking me. Sue's gonna take some pictures for a friend and also for me to see and remember what I tell the Lady that day. While I speak freely about all in my life, there are some things that are just between my Goddess and me lol (well that and the fact that right now I have no idea what I'm going to talk to her about rotflmao oh hush sis lmao).
Sue's told everyone that no one will smoke in this house except her husband as of Sunday :) She's quiting with me. Talk about an awesome friend!
I'm extremely lucky with having the friends I do. Sue, Sis, Brat, Draggoo, Pepsi, Petey, Heaven, Phangy (my dearest friends) and then there are too many others to keep going. But the ones I mention I owe Thank you's to for putting up with me during this time frame of going bonkers and worries and frustrations. They've all been supportive in different ways, ways that I'm sure they don't even realize lol. But I do and shall forever be grateful for. The biggest thing that they all do for me is make me smile and/or laugh. It helps keep my spirits up and thats making it so I can continue telling myself that I can succeed at this.
Besides its not like I have any choice lmao, but it does make a difference to know that I can talk to peeps and not worry about being judged for no matter what secrets or thoughts I may reveal or for growling or crying or yapping in tension. I never have to worry about feeling as if my emotions/feelings/thoughts are "cop outs".
Words can never express how much I appriciate my friends.
Always remember to be a friend means you'll have a friend.
More to be written later (I ran outta steam and not feeling good still so my ideas kind of flew outta my head when I blew my nose a lil bit ago lol). Hey thats snot funny ya know. Sorry, a runnying joke between a couple friends rotflmao.
