So there was a MuMM on children, behaviour and discipline issues. I got a bit carried away...as I've been known to do. *blush*
It's a topic I'm not just passionate about, but have been on BOTH sides of before. Without getting into personal details, I know what abuse is like first-hand. I have always tried to find a way to relate to children so that punishment is a last-resort, no matter what form chosen. You'd be surprised what a little "persuasive" guidance can accomplish with children. :-)
(I.E. - "Let's see how many toys you can put away in 15 minutes!" or "How many toys can you fit in your toy box?" etc. Get the point? It works!!!)
Here's the two long-winded comments I left. LoL
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Comment 1:
Whatever you choose to do...CONSISTENCY is key! If you do not follow through each and every time, or make "empty threats", they'll quickly learn which buttons to push, when & how to push them, and that there will be little to NO consequences for their actions - or lack thereof. Basically they'll be in control, not you.
I don't give a rat's patootie what people say today about HOW to discipline kids....THAT one thing, consistency, is always and forever going to be true.
Stick to your guns. Don't promise OR threaten ANYthing in life if you don't have the means and guts to f o l l o w - t h r o u g h.
(I learned by experience. ;-) )
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Comment 2:
Find the way that works for you. Spankings are NOT wrong. They've been tried and true for many, many years. The problem comes when you hit in anger...or for every little thing...or get carried away and cross the line into abuse.
Time outs can be so insanely horrible for an active child that they NEVER want to be there again. Or they could be useless for a child who has no problem sitting there annoying you, getting your attention, forcing you to constantly watch them there and monitor them....using it as another form of control over you by monopolizing your time and wearing your patience thin.
Then there are some who will sit out punishment, no matter WHAT it is, if they know they can still get away with the behaviour that got them in trouble in the first place.
Discipline is a VERY personal, touchy topic. No two parents will ever agree 100% on the perfect discipline for every behaviour problem from every child. And every child is different as well.
Find what works for YOU and YOUR children. Just know your limits & theirs. And if you ever get to the point where you can't take it anymore and could possibly do even the smallest bit of damage to them or yourself (physical OR mental) step away, call a friend or relative or organization for help. (Your own "time out" in a sense.)
Cheesy, self-help group line alert:
Asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness, it's a sign of self-awareness and courage.
(sounds lame, but it's true)
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Can you tell I have strong feelings toward the subject? To be honest, I don't know one parent who TRULY cares about their children...AND others...that doesn't.
