XaviRoseMaiden's blog: "thinking , reflecting"

this is all i know of Iraq

blood , sweat , tears 

this is all i felt ,

fear after fear .. 

 watching the news waiting ,to hear if he'd survived the last battle 

 waiting to hear names , of the others .. 

i don't really like to talk about this .. 

but he got hurt .. 

he was in Ied explosion , which could of taken his life .. 

and for some reason he was saved .. 

and i think most soldiers end up with survivors guilt his friend almost lost his entire thumb .. 

when the Ied struck ...it got one of the only homvs that didnt have the extra armour ... 

and i remember watching the news and pll fighting about the cost of armour .. shortly before it happened 

 and i remember thinking 

 isnt it better to pay to repair armour .. then to pay to bury the soliders .. 

and the next thing i know i got a call saying .. he was realy hurt .. he could die .. and i remember not being able to breathe ... 

and the next minute he calls me ,, and says he was injured in an explosion but hes ok .. 

and joked about how gets a free vaccation for a couple of days .. but it wasnt free ..

i dont know everything that explosion did to him but i can tell you this .. 

 he lost alot of hearing  in one ear , he lost alot of memory .. and the war changed him ... 

and its not his fault .. 

and i know hes not alone , many have lost limbs , many have gone crazy ... with the sheer weight of dealing with the war .. 

so i take a lil time to care , a lil time to write becuase all thier lifes are worth it .. worth the struggle worth the pain of remembering that life ... 

and now you know part of my sotry and why its so real for me ...

true , geniune , deep support for you all .. from the bottom my heart ..

and if i can make a solider smile, or feel proud of being a soldier .. then ive done something good .. and it somehow makes the experience worth it ..