I'm just now realizing how angry I am.
And I realize that I don't know how to be angry.
All I can do is cry hot tears…
And I'm mad that I'm crying, but I'm learning it is okay to cry.
I don't have to be ashamed.
I haven't done anything wrong.
But why God, why do I feel this way?
Why so numb?
Why so shameful?
Why so disgraced?
Why so rejected?
Why so pained?
Why so tired?
Why so distraught?
Why so beaten?
Why so downcast?
But how do you learn to express anger?
When feeling anything was abnormal growing up?
Tears were shunned, pain was disregarded and anger was unheard of, unless you heard it coming from one of my parents.
Would screaming help? Would pacing? Would driving somewhere really fast?
In my anger all I can do is break down and cry,
But the anger isn't going anywhere.
It’s too large for the used tear ducts.
And I hate:
Him and me and realizing that this list of hate doesn't have an end.
And in the end, all I can do is ask why God blessed him.
I don't know where to go
I don't know what to say
My stars are fading
My stars are fading
Mood:Pissed.
Music:What I Call X, by Streifte Geist
