Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?
>
> Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
>
> Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the
> night of April 1st?
>
> Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch
> on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch
> and sat down beside me.
>
> Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
>
> Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
>
> Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
>
> Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
>
> Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
>
> Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
>
> Defense Attorney: Why not?
>
> Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died
> some 30 years ago.
>
> Defense Attorney: What happened next?
>
> Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.
>
> Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
>
> Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
>
> Defense Attorney: Why not?
>
> Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I
> haven't felt that good in years!
>
> Defense Attorney: What happened next?
>
> Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid
> down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!"
>
> Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
>
> Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when
> I shot him, the little bastard.