country1982's blog: "are you a red neck"

the breed know as Pit Bull should be wiped off the map!!!!!!!!!!

they say not all are mean is BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

a so called family dog came through a open fence and the dog had a invisible fence collar on and got a hold of my Beagle yesterday. Thank GOD my dog is fast and was as tall as the pit and was not hurt real bad. I beat that pit almost to death with a baseball bat wish now i had killed him........................... I feel the whole breed should be wiped off the face of this earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

signed Mike

A teach in Detroit, Michigan asks the kids to tell her what a pig sounds like?

and the kids yelled out:

Up against the wall mother fucker............

guess there aren't many farms in Detroit

Change Your Thinking

It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking.




Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.






One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.



His bed was next to the room's only window.








The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.








The men talked for hours on end.



They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..








Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.








The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.









The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.



Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.









As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene. < I>


One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.








Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.








Days, weeks and months passed.







One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.


She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.








As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.





0A


Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.








It faced a blank wall.








The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.









The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.







She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'











Epilogue:








There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.








Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.









If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

















The origin of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.






I pray you will forward it to all your friends to whom you wish God's blessings

WOW!!!

How's this for apocalyptic literature. This was written by a pastor's

wife in biblical prose as a commentary of current events. It is

brilliant.

------------------------

And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land

called America , having lost their morals, their initiative, and their

will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that

person known as "The One."

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He

hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you." My lack

of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my

association with evil doers are of no consequence. I shall save you

with hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the

land that he who proceeded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation,

and that all he has built must be destroyed. And the people rejoiced,

for even though they knew not what "The One" would do, he had promised

that it was good; and they believed. And "The One" said " We live in

the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!"

And the people said, "Hallelujah! Change is good!"

Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats." And the

people said "Sock it to them!" "And redistribute their wealth." And

the people said, "Show us the money!" And the he said, "

redistribution of wealth is good for everybody."

And Joe the plumber asked, " Are you kidding me? You're going to

steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??" And "The One"

ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's personal records were hacked and publicized.

One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist policy?" And she was

banished from the kingdom!

Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and

having zero military experience or knowledge, how will deal with

radical terrorists?" And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with

them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they

will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!" And the people

said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons

into free cars for the people!"

Then "The One" said "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes." And one,

lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes." So "The One"

said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!"

And the people said, "Hallelujah! Show us the money!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell

your homes!" And the people yawned and the slumping housing market

collapsed. And He said.. "I shall mandate employer-funded health care

for every worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every

person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the

clinics." And the people said, "Give me some of that!"

Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas."

And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"

Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and

electricity rates will skyrocket!" And the people said, "Coal is

dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part

about higher electric rates." So "The One" said, Not to worry. If

your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out.

Just sign up with the ACORN and you troubles are over!"

Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let's

grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches,

free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing..." And

the people said, "Hallelujah!" and they made him king!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and

ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others

simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto

a rock dropped from a cliff.

The bank banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a

crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support.

Then "The One" said, "I am the "the One"- The Messiah - and I'm here

to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have

enough!" But our foreign trading partners said unto Him. "Wait a

minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have

to pay more... And "The One" said, "Wait a minute. That is

unfair!!" And the world said, "Neither are these other idiotic

programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state and

a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!"

And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?" But yea

verily, it was too late. The people set upon The One and spat upon

him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation

was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or

shelter or hope. And the Change "The One" had given them was as like

unto a poison that had destroyed then and like a whirlwind that

consumed all that they had built.

And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish,

"give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!" But it was too

late, and their homeland was no more.

You may think this a fairy tale, but it's not.

It's happening RIGHT NOW

Making a baby.. This is hilarious!

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!--
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'
'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs.. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
 
'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'
'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.
After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'
'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'
'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'
'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said Mrs . Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'
'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.
'Yes , I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'
'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'< SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt">
'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'
'Tripod?'
'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
 
Mrs. Smith fainted

       Subject: Last  request
   
    
   Katie  Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine  Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the  terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before  they were beheaded and dragged naked through the  streets.  
      
   Katie  Couric said,  'Well,  I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried  chicken.'

 
 



 
 

 
 
 
 

The  leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the  chicken.  Couric ate it all and said, 'Now I can die  content.'  

 
 


Charlie Gibson said, 'I'm living in ' New York ,  so I'd like to hear the song, The Moon and Me, one last  time.'

 
 

The  terrorist leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western  world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and  played the song.

 
 



 
 

 
 
 
 

Gibson  was satisfied.  

 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

Brian  Williams said, 'I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape  recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe,  someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the  end.'

 
 

The  leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams  dictated his comments.

 
 



 
 

 
 
 
 
 

He  then said, 'Now I can die happy.'

 

 
 
 
 

The  leader turned and asked, 'And now, Mr.. U.S. Marine, what is your final  wish?

 

 
 
 
 

'Kick  me in the ass,' said the Marine.

 

 
 
 
 

'What?'  asked the leader, 'Will you mock us in your last  hour?'

 
 

 
 
 
 

'No,  I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,' insisted the  Marine.

 
 

 
 
 
 

So  the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the  ass.

 
 

 
 
 
 

The  Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from  inside his cammies and shot the leader  dead.

 
 

In  the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, then  with his knife he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he  took, sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another  11.

 
 

In  a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their  lives.

 
 

 
 
 
 

As  the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him, 'Why  didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to  kick you in the ass?'

 
 

 
 
 
 

'What?'  replied the Marine, 'and have you three assholes report that I was the  aggressor....?'

 

 
 
 
 

Semper  Fi!

 
 



 
 
 

If  You Are Not Willing To Stand Behind Our Troops, Please, Please Feel Free  To Stand In Front Of Them!

>
> 
> 
>     
>  One day, while going to the store, I
> passed by a nursing home. On the
>     front lawn were six old
> ladies lying naked on the grass.
>   
> 
>  I thought this was a bit unusual, but
> continued on my way to the store.
>   
>   
> 
>  On my return trip, I passed the same
> nursing home with the same six old
>  ladies 
>  lying naked on the
> lawn. 
>   
> 
>  This time my curiosity got the best of
> me and I went inside to talk to
>  the 
>  Nursing Home Administrator. 'Do
> you know there are six ladies
>  lying 
>  naked on your Front
> lawn?' 
>   
> 
>  'Yes,' she said.
> 'They're retired
> prostitutes,  
>  -        they're having a
>  yard sale.' 
>  -          
>   
>  -         RETIREMENT IS DIFFERENT
>  FOR EVERYONE  - 
>