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Why are you so cute? I mean serial. Sooo adorable. Gessh! Now on to other serious matters... is it wrong (or want) to have sex with beer? It tastes sooooo good most of the time that if it were socially acceptable, I would consider such. Now I haven't put much thought behind this as to what type of sex I would have or with what. A can might hurt and a bottle is too small. Perhaps one of those mini kegs for the fridge? I think that's a Heineken product, but I dunno about pot breath during this. Your thoughts? Yeah... uh. So... go team?
- A Currently Drunkish, Bob Saget
Dear Drunkish Bob,
There is nothing wrong with loving beer, or fantasizing about it. Although, sex with it would prove difficult unless you filled one of those latex pocket vaginas with your favorite brew. Now, if you were a chick, the beer bottle would work just fine. Use plastic though, those glass ones are a little dangerous to be inserting in your vag.
My suggestion is to just shotgun a beer while some chick (or dude if you're into that) is taking one for the team. Just make sure you don't puke on her.
