AS i sit here looking out the window, wondering why the streetlamps out side seem so blurry, even though no.. it's not raining.
yet.. i've taken my eyedrops for the seasonal allegies.. but yet.. it's still blurry outside. i wipe the moisture from my yes yet.. it keeps
reurning on it's on.the occasional tick tock from the clock seemingly drives me crazy.for no reason of it's on, yet it does.I sit here here thinking that now, after all this time on fu.. i have made a mistake.i have allowed people in my life,where i know i know i am a loner, & enjoy the solitude of the night.. the comfort of being who i am, without anyone knowing who i really am. but.. this night, i come to realize..
i miss aperson here that doesn't even know i exist. she goes by the name of badcrumble. she doesn't ask for bling.. points, or anything. she doesn't try to standout, yet.. she's outstanding..
i realize i love joking around with nearly everyone. loved by some, hated by many. there are those that really are family to me here on fu..
butas i write this for my own release.. i do so because she said i need to be myself sometimes. tonight.. i am.. miss you mrs.b
It was after standing on the back porch wid my godson enjoying another southern evening peeing off the back porch with him, & looking at ach other laughing that the impact of childhood dawned upon me. Southern living southern life.. southern traditions. but, the one that came to mind was one of hurt. Being that I ama a black male, i am sometimes reminded of my so called place in society, which came to past just the other day
I am a painter by trade in this economically challenged time for a wealthy landowner here in our small town, She rented a trailer to what some here in the south would call "poor white trash"> they have 3 children, they became good friends with me, the oldest being a young girl 10 years old.She asked if i would be her Godfather, seeing I have so many underprivileged kids as friends, I said I'd love to. MY natural godaughter, whom is black became very upset bcause I said yes, & very prompley told me I couldn't do that because she's a white girl.
I have never raised her to even think that way, because of the fact every one falls on hard times & poverty doesn't discriminate.so as the jack daniels kicks in and i relieve my mind of the hurtfulness, I ask.. can't we move on America & see people as people & not as a color?