You ever try complimenting someone by telling them they look like a celebrity, and they have no idea who you’re talking about, but you keep trying until you finally break down and call them a social retard? That’s a great way to meet women. I was talking to this girl last night - Wow, you look a lot like Sandra Bullock. “Who?” You know, Sandra Bullock, the actress. “Who?” You know, ‘Miss Congeniality’, ‘Premonition’, ‘While you were Sleeping.’ “Huh?” You know - ‘Speed?’ ‘Speed 2 - Cruise Control?’ Have you seen ‘Speed 2 - Cruise Control?’ Have you ever been to a movie, have you ever seen a movie, have you ever been out of your house before tonight, you stupid whore?! Hey, where are you going? You look a lot like Julia Roberts when you’re mad. “Who?”
- Everyone gets told they look like celebrities, and it’s usually an attractive celebrity - women get told they look like Julia Roberts, not Eric Roberts. You never hear - you know who you look like - Gollum. I don’t know why, but people keep telling me I look like Steve Carell. Funny guy, but hard to be a rock star and hope to get lucky after the show when people think you’re the ‘40-year-old Virgin.’ I think I’ll just go back to the hotel and play with my action figures again.
