Death winked back to the shore of the boggy lake he lived by and found an absolute throng of souls milling around, thousands upon thousands. As soon as he appeared, the souls convdrged on him,guestions,laments,shrieking, a veriatable cacaphony of noises.
"Souls, please listen up. Hey, back away from the cowl, now, back away now. I cant help any of you until I understand how manya re here and see with my eyes whos sho.... i said BACK OFF from the cowl. yeah yeah I know its red, ok.... Now its black."
Death finally got some room to think quickly about matters.
"Now listen up, accidents will happen, so listen closely. Suicides to my rights, and that includes drugs, alcohol use or anything else that may have caused you to pass before your time. On my left, old age, still born, or just not your fault. In front of me I want simply accidental deaths. Has everyone got it now? Please be timely, Im on a schedule here, and you must get going. Begin now.
As the souls started doing as he requested, Death got out his little book. Not that he would really eed it, he had only to into their eyes and he would know if they were ging to heaven or hell. Approaching the group on his left, " in a line please, get in a line", since they had had enough of just milling around they were quick to isten. Death approached each sould individually, and began the process of ookin into their eyes. They were all in the right group and ging to heaven,so he told the others he would be right back. Winking once again he arrived with the whole group in fron the the Pearly gates. Peter was beside himself impatient.
" Its about time, some of these should have been here long ago, what were you think of Death, or are you thinking at all lately?"
"Peter, their here, isnt that good enough for now, just get them through, here they are, good bye."
Death winked back down to this lake shore, where the waiting souls were milling around.
"Ok, now, please may I have the next group to go?
the group there, on my right, follow me over here by the shore there, and line up one by one. there you go, now remember, you gotta to be in a straight line so that I can look quickly into your eyes."
" Hey ugly, does that mean we get to ride int he boat? I want to ride in your boat across the lake, I heard thats part of it"
Death made a special trip over to look into the mans eyes," you dont get a ride in my boat, your a piece of garbage and your going straight to hell, what do you think about that," and stepped right into the man, enlarging himself to full skeletal heighth.
The man quickly stepped back into line and close "mouth".
Death passed in front of each one, finding only on misplaced soul. the person had died of a drug overdose, but not of his/her own doing. All of you except this one, please stay together. You I will take care of in a minute. Are we ready then?, All righty, lets go to HELL!!!" And before anyone could even begin to complain, they materialized, of course then there was alot of complaining and whining, but at least it wasnt all directed at him this time it was Orda, that wicked demon of Satans that was getting most of it.
"What the meaging of thie Death. you cant just come in here with a thousands souls and expect to just leave me to take care of them." Orda was horrified that that was exactly what Death had in mind.
"Well of course, they are yours to deal with now arent they, and you were complaining earlier that you had nothing to do, am I right? Well now you do." And out he winked. Arriving back at the lake his last impression being of Orda overwhelmed with the souls and his mouth hanging open, the new horn, smoking. It gave Death great satisfaction that he could finally get even somewhat with both Peter, Orda and Satan.
Death was feeling pretty good about having taken care of a years worth of sols in just a short ime.
"Please line up the rest of you, including you the accidental overdose, please stand in the line. Thats right, just like that."
this group would be a bit harder, because even though they were accidental, some would be bound for hell because they had things to attoin for, some would go to heaven. he needed to do a bit more work with this grouup.
As he passed each one looking into their eyes, he either pointed to the left or the the right. Since netiher group knew which was going where, all was pretty quiet. When he was done, he told one group the standard statement of being right back and to pleae remain patient. He shortly took the troup materializing in front of the Pearly Gates once more. " Peter heres a few more for you." He smiled as he caught a glimpse of Peter, with sweat soaked brow, wilted wings molting, working frantically in his book to get these souls processed. And out he went before another word could be said.
"Ok now, no messing around, lets get going." Before they could even utter a peep, they were at the gates of hell. Orda had done a wonderful job ofgetting his souls through, he was almost finished.
"Heres a few more that got caught in between. See ya!" And out he winked.
Death took a well deserved break at his lonely and dismal shore. Never had it looked so, well homelike and peaceful before.
But his fellow angels were in an uproar. Peter had finally finished processing his souls and was in the Big room complaining to Himself and Herself. At the same time Orda had also finally finished his work and was giving Satain a horn full also.
Neither entity paid very much attention to their helpers, they just pretended to listen. himself thinking about a new creation, and Herself wondering how to talk Him out of it. Satan only wondered how he could find a few more souls to tempt and what he should try to do to continue havoc on earth, a new drug, hmmm. typical office procedures were followed, and life, well heaven and hell went on much as before.
