5 days and counting and you will be no longer a little bit mine.
I am in such pain, it hurts to breathe.
It hurts to say your name.
I know you will be happy, this I wish
If it were a different world I would be angry
But I can’t claim you as mine, never could.
For I have someone at home waiting for me.
I am in a place that will always remind me of you,
I have to come in here every night
To put food on my table and a roof over their head.
So many people around me
But no one knows the way I really feel.
I have tears in my eyes that I have to brush away.
I wish you weren’t saying “I do”
I have let you go time and time again
But just last week, we talked like old times
It re-opened the wound that had slowly begun to heal.
I know you never meant to hurt me.
I know I re-open the door.
I want to feel your arms around me one last time.
The last time we saw each other, I said
“I probably wont see you until after the wedding”
and you said that would be wrong.
I didn’t kiss you then because I was trying to be good.
Now I wish I had because the hug was too short and just not enough.
Too many people know about you and I.
They know the pain I feel
But don’t see my tears.
I try to act so strong but I am in pieces.
I try to stop myself from contacting you and I can’t help it.
I am still so addicted.
This pain I feel is just so wrong,
We could have stopped it years ago and we both tried.
We could have avoided this pain but it was impossible.
I want to cry, but I can’t, I won’t let myself.
On your big day, I will be celebrating for you.
I don’t want you to be sad.
This has to be a stressful time.
I want to be their for you.
I really don’t want to say good-bye.
I am scared to let you go.
For the last 2 yrs, you been their thru thick and thin.
Sometimes from afar, sometimes very close.
If you move, I will loose all of this.
You said we wouldn’t but I know that’s not true.
You will be married and starting your new life.
I want to say don’t look back.
But I know I will be here waiting for you.
If you choose to stay, you will still be so close,
Yet so far away.
Be happy enjoy your day, Enjoy your life,
You deserve only the best.
