Okay, I decided to have a little rant about the whole "dating thing". Here's what I think:
Men are very visual creatures and think with their penis. If you put out on the first date, you are a ho, but if you don't, they may never call you again.
I was married in 1988 and I have to tell you, before I got married I was SCARED. AIDS was fairly new, and "came about" while I was in college. So, all the partying and sex I had as a wild college student could have come back to haunt me. Luckily it did NOT. All we had to worry about back in the eighties was getting pregnant. I was on BC for that.
I got divorced in '98 and the whole world had changed. All of a sudden you were taking your life into your own hands if you didn't have a condom. I knew people who got sick and it scared me. So, I searched to find someone to be monogamous with, but not wanting to marry again right away or settle down totally since I was SO WRONG in choosing my husband.
So, I found someone and had a five year relationship, after going a bit wild for awhile but still being safe. That did not last due to his wanting to be a good father....let's not go there.
Now I am dating again and I am almost 45. It is weird. My daughter is of dating age and I feel I must set a good example. But it seems that I can group men into these categories:
1) young men - most either want to just get laid as much as possible and don't want to put the time and effort into a relationship or pleasing their woman. Some want to have kids. This babymaking machine is CLOSED for business my pretties...LOL.
2) men my age - alot of them have just broken up with someone and have kids. They are taken up on weekends with "kid things". I don't mind kids at all (I am a teacher....love them) but that is my job and I don't want ALL my time to be with children. My daughter is almost grown. I don't mind spending time getting to know your kids but can we be alone first?
3) older men - borrrrrrrrring. So far anyway. They are so set in their ways and while they are good at pleasing a woman, they often can't "hang" with me when it comes to sex. Yet they ARE attentive and loving (usually) but don't seem to want to use condoms (they were younger BEFORE AIDS or B.A.). The good news is that their kids are usually grown and can spend time with you, but if they have a good career, they work too much.
So, where does this leave me? Alone, I guess. LOL. It gets pretty depressing. While I LOVE sex, I'd like to attach some meaning to it. I love being in love. I enjoy the romance. I want the whole enchilada. Is that too much to ask? I'm starting to think so.
