Everyone knows that there is good and bad. People aren't bad, they just to bad things. Well, i should say that they do stupid things that turn out to be bad.
I don't get a lot of things. One thing especially is this site. Yea it's a cooler version of myspace, i get that. The more anyone talks to me, the more I feel they are all the same. I can't tell you how many men call me sexy or this and that. I don't believe it has anything to do with my looks. Maybe they are lonely, or horny who knows?
The more i hear it, the more i want to scream! There was a guy who i started talking to. I really wanted to get to know him and be his friend. He is a bit of a distance from me but nothing to serious a road trip can't fix. Apparently I've hurt him somehow. I do believe he read into a written piece of mine and instead of coming to me and asking me about it, he took the typical male way out and insulted me before he stopped talking to me.
I want to let everyone know, as if my profile doesnt painfully explain it: i am not a whore. I do not have random sex with strange men. I dont know how i would make that anymore clearer.
I have done a lot of soul searching this past week. I've cried myself to sleep every night. I just don't understand why I'm overly sensitive now of all times. I try so hard in my life and it feels like the more that I do try, the more I get put down. Especially by strangers. You may be talking into your computer but yes, there is a real person on the other end of it. I am 26 years old, 5'6 brown hair and eyes. Flesh and blood i am real. No, I am not perfect. I don't believe anyone really is. This society has been too f**cked up lately that there is no such thing as perfection.
I figured out last night what i truly want. I want my heart to be happy! My body is getting better and i love my job. Everything else about me is happy but my heart isnt. I push men away from me. I'm not scared of being alone i am scared of being with anyone. I dont really want to get into it right now but if you want to know why, just ask. :)
Anyway, I feel this blog for tonight is getting a bit long so i am going to end it now. I may have hurt someone whom i've never met and i am sorry for that but in return he hurt me as well. One huge misunderstanding that lead to us not talking. It is a shame too because he is a good person. His tendencies may steer him toward player actions but hell this is the internet, who doesnt appear to be a player online? lol I just cant believe he thinks i run around and sleep with any guy who will have me. IF he had taken the time to get to know me, he would never have said anything like that. But i do forgive him because all he had to really judge me by was some poem i wrote in a blog. But anyway...
This weekend is my first weekend off in three months. I do have to work on sunday but i think it is a big deal that i have a saturday off AND a friday... but oh well to that LOL ... good luck with life everyone. Be cautious of others, you never really know if anything you say is hurting another ...
