When I was married I never dreamed that it would end. I thought it would be till the end for better for worse. Apparantly she feels differently. She says she needs time to sort out her thoughts to detemine what she wants, what she needs. Well tomorrow she leaves. She dont know if she'll be back. I hope that she will. There is something very scary about the thought of never being together again in the same way. She says she dont know if she loves me. She say she dont know if this is what she wants. I guess only time will tell. Regardless of the outcome I hope somewhere we will find happiness. But I love my wife for all the right reasons her not being here wont change that. I wont get used to a life without her. I wont get used to being a part time dad. I dont want to be replaced. I dont want to miss out on all the small things in life we all take for granted. We worked hard to get what we have. WE shouldn't just throw it away. I just wish she could be strong and overcome this sadness this need she feels to be away. To be apart and be independent. I know that I was a part of making her sad. I tried to be the right kind of man. I worked hard to support us in the capacity I did. We obtaied all the material things we wanted. Unfortunately it was at the cost of our love apparently that it happened. I just hope that she will take the time and realize what we share is unique and good and hopefully next week I will be estatic and write happy thoughts instead of sad. Only time will tell. Till then I wait in hope.
