AIGHT, SO I SIT AROUND BY MYSELF AND I WONDER. ODD THOUGHTS AND SUCH. I WONDER IF I SHOULD HAVE THAT NEXT DRINK. IF THE PEOPLE I'M WITH REALLY GIVE A FUCK. IF I SHOULD BECOME A COP, WRITE A BOOK, GO TO THAT CULINARY ACADEMY AND BE ABLE TO KICK BOBBY FLAYS ASS AT IRON CHEF. I WONDER WHEN I DREAM IF THIS IS REAL, OR FUCKING NIGHTMARES. IF WHAT I'M WRITING WILL BE READ OR JUST FUCKING IGNORED. IF I HAVE A CHANCE WITH THIS GIRL OR JUST BLOW IT OFF BECAUSE IT WILL NEVER FUCKING HAPPEN. I MEAN I STEAL LINES FROM MOVIES THAT SEEM RIGHT, LIFE IS PAIN HIGHNESS AND ANYONE WHO SAYS DIFFRENT IS SELLING SOMETHING, OR WHAT DID YOU LEARN IN SCHOOL TODAY? REVENGE! I THINK AND I SEE ALL THESE THINGS BUT I WONDER OFTEN WHICH ONE IS RIGHT. DO PEOPLE STILL FUCKING CARE, OR AM I JUST WASTING MY TIME WONDERING IF MY TIME IS EVEN FUCKING WORTH IT?!?!? I GET TIRED OF WONDERING, AND I'M REALLY BORED OF BEING BORED. LACKLUSTER IS ONE OF THE WORDS I THINK ABOUT ALOT. I MEAN IT JUST SEEMS LIKE DEJU VU BUT WITH DIFFRENT ENDINGS ALL THE TIME. DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHY I'M WRITING THIS, OR WHO WILL GIVE A FUCK THAT I DID. I KNOW I'M UNHAPPY. I KNOW I WANT TO DO MORE. BUT THEN I REMEMBER THE HOMER SIMPSON QOUTE WHERE HE SAID NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO THERE ARE A MILLION PEOPLE IN THIS LIFE WHO CAN DO IT BETTER. I THINK OF THAT AND THEN WONDER WHAT I CAN DO. I CAN RECALL MOVIES, OR BOOKS THAT I LOVE, AND RATIONALINIZE THEM INTO A REALITY I WOULD LOVE TO LIVE. I CAN MISQOUTE, OR BRING UP THE MOST POINTLESS INFORMATION AND TO ME IT WILL SEEM RELIVENT, THEN I LOOK AT THE FACES ON THE PEOPLE I AM TELLING THIS INFO TO AND SEE CONFUSION OR THE SIMPLE I DON'T GIVE A FUCK AND I WONDER WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING IT FOR?!?!? I GUESS I JUST WANT TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED, OR EVEN GIVEN A SECOND GLANCE FOR THE STUFF I SEE AS IMPORTANT. I KNOW IT'S A WASTE OF TIME, BUT FUCK I FEEL WHAT I HAVE DONE DESERVES SOME NOTICE. ME AS A PERSON DESERVES A HEAD NOD, A SMALL SMILE, I BREIF CONVERSATION. FUCK ANYTHING, JUST TO KNOW THAT WHAT I AM DOING, AS POINTLESS AS IT MIGHT SEEM HAS SOME FUCKING MEANING. I KNOW I AM ASKING FOR ALOT, BUT DAMN ISN'T EVERYONE?!?!? DON'T REALLY KNOW WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS, BUT I GUESS I'M JUST TIRED OF FEELING EMPTY AND WORTHLESS, UNLOVED, AND NOT CARED FOR. PEACE OUT AND SHIT ALL.-BILL.
