i*ve been listening to this song non stop for the past day and a half...i can really relate to it lately. i*ve been told alot lately that i*m really sheltered. i*m starting to see it more lately. i don*t let people in...i never have. and the one person i did let in...well...i fucked that up
somehow i manage to screw things up alot... weither it*s by my hand or someone elses, everytime i get something amazingly good, something takes it away from me. it*s been that way my whole life... it doesn*t feel like it*s changing at all the older i get the worse it happens... this last thing is the biggest thing i*ve ever lost...and i*m never gonna get him back. i know i should give up and deal with it because i fucked up.. huge... but i just can*t. i won*t give up that easily. i won*t let this crush me... even though it already has. i*ve completely fallen apart. i don*t know how i could do something like this...but in a sence i didn*t do it. but he wouldn*t know that... because he won*t listen to my side of the story. just to let him know... my ex is 6'3..somewhere around 350lbs... not small and i*m sorry i*m strong but not that strong... it*s not like i could move him so don*t blame me fully for this. or blame me.. just understand there was nothing i could do... i tried all i could all my strength went into it but i could not do anything. just.. please let me explain myself. don*t shut me out forever. i know you*re hurt.. and so am i. we can get through this... i promise you.. with every fibre of myself nothing like this will EVER happen again. i went to the police yesterday and got a restraining order on him... but they can*t find him. just please talk to me.. it*s litterally killing me. just... talk to me
CRUSHED
By the sweetest lips ive never kissed
And your fingertips and the warmest touch Ive always missed
CRUSHED
By the softest hands ive never held
Probably never tell
You're the strongest love that Ive ever felt
CRUSHED
That I havent ever let you know
How it always goes
Cuz I lose my nerve whenever you get close
And so Im left
Short of breath
With that heavy feeling in my chest
Baby Im so crushed 
