Sexy, but dangerous. Wanted in multiple states for aggravated aggravation by a repeat aggravator with intent to aggravate. Born a good blue-blooded Kansas boy on the hard steets of El Dorado. As a youth, I joined the crips and bloods simulationsly and accidentally became a crud… Well Actually it was the Army and became a Ranger then (for some reason) I spent the best years of my life living in Ft. Bragg, NC. I live back in El Dorado, KS now for going on eight years and life couldn’t be better. (for as long as my liver will allow).

In my spare time I enjoy riding my motorcycle, shooting pool, hanging with friends, drinking beer, killing people on PS3, and selling my vital organs for money.

So, if you are not impressed by my charismatic charm, flawless facial features, Pulitzer Prize level writing ability, impeccable physique, unnecessary modesty , or military record let me also make you aware that I am one of the best prank callers in the nation.

As you can see Im really the shallow KS type.

So now I bet you are wondering...

So, what do I do for a living? Let me see hereerr, Im a part time astronaut -- well thats not really true. Lets just say I have a very lucrative job as a quality control tester for a mace company. Ok that is just part of it. I am a full time 911 Dispatcher and Part-time Police Officer.

My two claims to fame are your Dad probably once tried to kill me and I dated a girl for six months and prayed that she would become a mute.

So, if you've read this far I bet you are thinking:

This has got to be a fake bio, right?

Ok, you got me, I'm not a part time astronaut. The rest of the shit is 100% true.

Pretty silly, eh?