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What are you waiting for?
LA happened in November. When he left, I felt incomplete. We kept in touch as much as possible. He had issuess with his phone, and whatever service I'm using to call him is crap because I have a hard time getting through to him. I never know when or if it's going to work. There was a period of time I thought he was gone. His Uncle had cancer. I knew this. He was going to try to get back here in time for my birthday. He had been saving since he got back home. Well, when he disappeared, I assumed he was over me. A month later I heard from him. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I was sobbing uncontrolably. He thought it was out of sorrow or anger. I was surprised myself to find it was out of happiness. I didn't care that he had disappeared. I was only greatful and happy that he was back. His Uncle HAD in fact died. He had gone to Queensland to take care of his family. I completely understand that. So now we are up to date. I haven't been able to get a hold of him again. I'm still having issues with the phone. And his computer has been broken for some time. Although I don't know how this story will end... I think of him daily. I never believed in a soul mate before; but I believe it's him. The thing is also, I have wasted a lot of my life waiting around for men. I always seem to end up disappointed. So even though I love him like no other... I have no guarantees. I told him I would not necessarily wait. BUT... I also told him. no matter if I have something going on or not. I would end anything to be with him. I guess it would have to depend on if i ever find that same kind of connection again. I refuse to close myself off. So... I remain open to other people. So far, nothing has panned out. .. and it's never been because of me not being 100% involved. It's just the way things have always been. I can honestly say, no one has ever loved me like him. I have never FELT loved, the way he makes me feel loved. But until he can get here... I fear this has all just been a modern fairy tale. And maybe... someday it'll be my turn to be happy. Maybe.... someday, MY prince will come.
Just an update. I suppose the story is over. No "Happily Everafter" for me. Not with him anyway. I still have hope though. It may not end up being a romantic story like I would dream of... But.. if I could at least find someone who could possibly return the love that I am capable of, maybe I can begin a new story. We shall see...
