Amma's blog: "I Am"

I am not feeling very perky today. In fact I think I  have a virus. Aching muscles, sore bones, depressed attitude. Eyes that itch and sinuses that are swollen. Yep - sounds like a virus to me.

Yet appointments must be kept. Physical therapy to continue to strengthen the accident torn ankle that carries my hardly featherlight weight around (oh wait, I cancelled that one for the sake of the unborn baby that is within the womb of my pt), well then - the other two appointments I kept, though I tried to breath the other way from those helping me. Another appointment I kept was one where my child was threatened with being removed from school if the emergency contact cards were not filled out. I had filled them out, and she had turned them in - yet they were no where to be found, so I filled them out again. No problem. What was distressing was the thought that my child, who has had some personal tragedy involving the things that are so carelessly shown in the above movie clip - death, war with an unseen enemy (leukemia), and the faithful backing of her family for her and her now deceased baby nephew, Harper - would be grilled by not one, but TWO teachers after I had left the building, having resubmitted the forms.

Should the person that should be addressed not be ME - the ADULT - the PARENT. I think so. My child remembered handing them in, she just got the particular teacher wrong. I wonder if that teacher has any idea what so ever of the torment she puts herself through trying to keep everything in  order and just so. If he knows anything at all about the hidden scarring of the past months. Whats it matter. It matters to me because I expect adults to act like adults.

For instance, the generosity of spirit that my elderly female boss showed to me when I was blissfully happy with my pregnancy of my little girl. She came up to me one day at work, and though we never spoke of anything other than her latest order for what I was to do next, she kindly told me that she had some used underwear of hers and would I like to have it. Well, I hardly knew what to say. What does one say to a 65 year old woman offering her used under wear to a woman in the full flush of a much desired pregnancy. I told her that was a very kind offer, but I thought that perhaps her generosity may be put to better use at the abused womens shelters.  Though I had been an abused woman in my younger days as another mans wife - I had never had to use a shelter, but I had made a point to learn about that aspect of life so that I could direct other women there who may not have been able to continue to live - literally live - if their physical location were not changed.

I am not sure if she took her used underwear to the shelter. I hope that she did, because I know her intention was of the most pure sort.

Wereanimals  - what humanity is when threatened, unless they learn to rise above, or come up with a better solution to offered gifts.

Finally, I was taking a walk through the bookstore the other day - looking for the rest of the most engaging series of books I have read in quite some time - Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I recommend them to all ages. I cannot put them down. But the other thing that was most startling was the teen fiction section. Every title on the shelves had something to do with vampires. These were not the ugly nosferatu of Stephen King - no, these were the fantastical PG rated version of the Anita Blake Vampire Huntress of the writings of the seductive Laurell K. Hamilton. 

It is nice to see that teenagers have the same yen for immortality, eternal youth, flowing sexuality, freedom of sexual expression, and power - and it is equally assured that none of these things are real and lasting. All you have to do is go read any snippet from any myspace, twitter, or facebook to hear all sorts of dramatic tales of betrayal and love scorned.

Maybe we should all try to be friends first. Real friends. The sort of friend that would brave a transforming werewolf in order to bring a wounded toothy immortal back to the lair.

Imagination is a wonderful gift - use it wisely.