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What are you waiting for?
Why is it, that the person you most want, can't be the one you get? I recently told a girl that I loved her, that I have loved her for several years. This fact was actually causing me stress and I think affecting my health. Now, this girl is several years younger than me, but she is quite mature and very smart. She is also, the most beautiful person I know. I have been afraid to tell her for a very long time, because I did not want to lose her friendship, which is very important to me, very. I truly did not want to know what it would be like to not have her in my life, in some way.
I was not able to tell her face to face. She lives in a different city than me and I am on the road with my job. But I had to tell her, so I e-mailed her. I didn't get to put everything in it that I wanted, as I didn't want to overwhelm her. But I did tell her.
She responded a couple of days later. Now, I have to tell you that I did not expect anything. Well, I did expect that she would not have the same feelings that I did. And guess what? She said exactly that. She does not share those feelings, and it hurt her to say so, because we are friends. And that I would not lose her freindship.
We have texted a few times since and things are ok. I feel much better, not so much stress, alot less, really. And yes, I think about her all the time. But I can go on, as I have for my 47 years. Still searching, still hoping, still trying to fill this hole in me, the other part of me. It's out there, somewhere. That's why there's hope, right?
p.s.
This is not what I started to write, I was going to write something else, but I guess this needed to come out too.
