You claim you want help for your current issues; yet you seem to think that it just comes to you.
I'm here to tell you ...keep dreaming, it's not that simple.
Suck it up, Man up, and grow a goddamn pair!
The illness will forever own you if you keep up your life in such a manner.
You don't just wake up one morning and *poof* you're magically cured!
It takes time, effort, and yeah...there will still be disrepair.
My words of wisdom and advice to you would be this: STOP FUCKING DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING IF YOU ARE HONESTLY AND IN FACT WANTING IT ALL TO JUST DISAPPEAR ...YOU ALSO HAVE TO BE SINCERE!