Well, the kids and I spent the whole day (friday) together and that was good since I have'nt gotten to see much of them all week...this week I worked a lot of overtime and well, jacob started to get a bad whiff of it on Wednsday when he started to cry when I left him and sammy at the sitters. He had never done that before, so I think I had better cool it on the overtime work for a change. I would actually call at the sitters from work to see if jacob would talk to me or sammy but with jacob it is "no" yet, with sammy, she will talk to anyone at times.
It seems quite different for the kids when their daddy calls, however. Jacob tells me that he doesnt like his daddy and wont talk to him, sammy on the other hand will talk on the phone with him, and I think that at least lifts up my ex's heart at times. Oh, but I believe that it is because jacob just doesnt want to talk on the phone is the reasons....But I can understand why jacob does not love his father and it is because he does not entirely know his father, so much.
It seems that today, everyone is blinded though by what they do not see in front of them. I guess I am the one to point fingers at these days. People are saying that I am not a good mother, when I provide all the much needed things; such as food, shelter, clothing, and love and so much of it. My kids are more important to me than anything in this world and it seems that a lot of people have stopped believing in that because I have a knack for talking about my ex's family that in many ways is inappropriate. I do not make threats to this family however, I just talk because i know I can and if anybody has a problem with what I say in my blogs then they should not have to read it, right? Wrong...it doesnt matter who you are and what you say these days, someone is always going to read the filth that anyone puts in their blogs...lots of times, you cant do anything about it, where as other times you can get the blogger to stop blogging. Then you want to get a court order about the whole ordeal, knowing that if you get a harrassment case against this person, you will never be able to speak to your kids again. Oh, so this is just great for the kids in all of this.
The kids are in my care and have always been in my care since the day I had been separated from my ex husband. My ex did not get to see his kids from after that moment till sammy was born some nine months later, Nov 2004, he only stayed a week after sammy was born though, he would rather spend more time with his family in MA than with his only two kids at the time. Then, sammy was like over a year old when he got to see his kids again, more importantly jacob was three and did not know what was going on, he knew that he was spending time with his father for a bit but that was all...along with sammy. This was just this past April 06, the kids spent three weeks with him up in MA with his family. Then, after that moment with the kids, he and his fiance at the time came out to get the kids at the end of december...I had problems with keeping a job and keeping an apartment at the time, so since I was staying with my parents, my ex and I had made a verbal agreement for him to take the kids for just three months. I was soo thrilled with this idea because I was sure that I would find prob two jobs or something to help save up on getting another apartment for me and the kids so that i would not have to stay with my parents again. And plus this would have been a good chance for Jacob and Samantha to finally get to know their father and for their father to enjoy them just as much as I have enjoyed them. It was hard at first for me to just give them up at first but I guess I took it well for the first few weeks or so, till "ms. drama queen" herself decided to claim that I was not doing my part as the mother to my kids.
But I tell ya right now, if my ex did not have her in his life, that would not have been the case and my ex would have had a lot of fun with them instead of having someone tell him that his kids are poorly tended to. He believes anything, I guess. And I did take care of my children its just that some people have different views of the way I brought them up as such...granted, I did not take my kids to a regular daycare/preschool sort of thing, they stayed at a licensed in home daycare. I could only afford this at the time, like I can now. Oh, but its not like they were not being educated, either....they brought home some arts and crafts they did for the day like they do now. So, the drama began with my ex's fiance, now wife. I was chattn with her about the kids and that was when she brought it to my attention that she thinks that there were problems with the kids that I did not even see, especially jacob. Oh, but I did see that my son was very hyperactive, though. But I was told by numerous of people that there was nothing wrong with him so I just passed it by....so it happens that jacob was actually showing signs of being ADHD or something when he was with my ex and his fam back in january 07. And when I was chattn with this woman, she was tellin me that they should keep the kids till the summer time to see if I have changed; basically in their eyes, I was a useless sob of a mother that should have a decent job and a place of my own till they would bring the kids back to me. I called my ex complaining to him about her and he had told me that he had not heard a thing about it till just now...so he said he would get back to me on this issue. So, little miss goody two shoes, had to try and persuade my ex that I need to change before they can give the kids back to me...and believe me the plan was that they were to give them back in like june or july, along with the remainder of my stuff, and if I had not changed by then...have a good job and a place of my own....the kids will go back with them. And I was not going to let that happen, because at that point I had lost all of the trust I had once had for this woman and felt that her total plan was for my ex to get full custody of the kids, once he had the kids for over six months...i feared this soo much so I found the answers that I was looking for. And eventually, the kids had to come back home to me.
And at this point, I had missed my kids very much....my ex did not want to talk to me about this even though he is the father of my kids and not this woman I had to deal with. She was just someone he was going to marry who is also the mother of his third child. Everything had to go thru her as it still does today because my ex claims that he is too nice of a guy to hurt me about that issue so he felt that the only way to hurt me was to have his fiance do it for him. Kind of weird dont ya think? Even sad too. Regardless, though, ever since that moment, I have had nothing to do with this woman and I think I have had good reason not to too...
Hmmmmmmm, it was this past january that he got to see the kids and enjoy them for a bit, I wonder when the next time will be, since he doesnt seem to have much time to call anymore to talk to them on sundays...I think that regardless if his son keeps saying that he does not want to talk to his daddy because he does not like his daddy, the least he can do is keep calling every sunday or so often to try and talk to them to show the kids that he is at least trying, instead of wanting to always give up just the way that I remember him to be, even though he feels that I am a threat to his family. If he truly loved his kids, then he would at least try and call to speak to them to show that he is at least trying...and that is all that I ever hoped for in him. I do not ever say bad things about my kids father to the kids, though. I tell them all of the time that he loves them but it is hard for them to believe this when he is not always going to be here; being that he is in the military, things are going to be rough. The kids are still young and at this point in their lives they need to know who loves them and who is actually trying to be there for them. At this point, they see just me because I have always been here for them, when their father can not be. So at this point I do not know what to say or think...
