You know how people say if you get off the horse to always get back on the horse? Well I got knocked off the horse big time and the horse ran off. I know must people have their own sappy story about their life and such and heres mine.
When I was 19 I was diganosed with a heart diease. Something that could and still can kill me. I have had my head above water snice then. All of a sudden I get worse news a few weeks ago. The doctor had told me your liver isn't in good shape and I am afrid to tell you this but it might shut down bc of all the meds that you have been takeing. I was shocked when I heard this news. I mean I am 21 yrs old and I have two major organs in my body shutting down on me. My grandmother would say that I am just feeling sorry for myself and that I need to cheer up. Well With a life like I have lived for the past two years how can I have a positive out look on life. Then to top everything else off, two months after i got told about my heart condition, I was told that my grandps was striken with cancer. I mean some cancers you can fight. I watched my grandfather die in that hospital bed for 8 months. His pain had finally ended Novenber 16, 2006. I never knew how bad it hurt to lose someone you were so close too, but after that I did. after about an hour into the funeral I started to blame myself for his death and how I wish I could have prevented it somehow and how I would give anything to have him back. but like always it wasn't answered.
I didn't think I could have gone on with my life, nad after that I had failed two of my college courses and was considering about not going back. But I had looked to the future and thought maybe things would get better. So I went back to college this semester and am doing fairly well with them.
I just don't know what direction to go and what to do with my life. people say not to give up but when I think of it myself, I gave up along time ago.
