His name was Dan. he was tall and handsome and...Older. He was dark and mysterious and he acted like a gentleman. He drove truck and showed me the ways of driving.
He loved it when i came home smelling like fried chicken and freshly baked bread. He lost at darts horribly on our first date. I kicked him butt and at pool he kicked mine.
we talked and laughed and i gave him my youth.
My virginity.
He held me tight and i gave him everything.
We stayed together for one year. And then he dissapeared. He claimed he was in jail. For 3 weeks and I believed him. He showed me more of himself.
I forgave him and tried to be understanding.
He showed me my first view of drugs. Pot...
I fogave that too.
He decided he wanted to move to Manitoba. I decided I would go with him. He went ahead and got us a place. I followed 1 month later. I brought with me my whole life. My most valuable belongings. My heart and soul.
3 months of happiness pass for me... not for him.
Christmas came and I missed my family.
I went home. 24 hours on a greyhound buss. i made it home and he was to follow and meet my parents. Instead he flead. He dissapeared. He broke my heart. I found him and had him ship back all my stuff. I had one last burn.
All the utilities were in my name.
Power, water, cable, statellite, and gas.
Huge debt followed. I didn't want so much pain. I opened myself to him and he took advantage.
I had to deal with the pain the only way I could.
I turned myself off. i fealt nothing. I was a husk. I refused to speak for i knew i would be cruel to all. My family suggested a phycyatrist and I refused. I was turned off by choice untill i could be alone to digest my feelings.
They didn't understand.
Sorrow.
I claimed bankruptcy and moved again. By the new year I was in the city. I could start all over with people who had never heard of me.
For two weeks I weapt and raged. And then I started over. I was calm. I was me again. No whole for that i may never be. But better. Certainly better
