so i know i fucked up...all those things i wrote i wrote out of anger in earlier blogs...i dont want him to leave because i love him so goddamn much i can't even stand it anymore. i feel like someone is taking away life support. i can't stand to be in my own home because it's making me want to cry. i cry in the shower at work in my car at the gym...i just keep breaking down. why is this happening..why is the one thing that makes me happy being taken away? I can't deal...I didn't mean all the shit i wrote i was angry....damn it i just want to make this better...things were goin so good and i was so happy...why did it have to be destroyed...i take it all back....i dont need a husband i need him and out of anger i put things out here on cherry i shouldnt have and destroyed my life...