Fats The Dragon Bard's blog: "The writings of Fats"

It’s sometimes hard, for even the most experienced writers, to find the right words to convey the true essence of what they are feeling, but is that not, in fact, the point of writing at it’s core?  There are many emotions, ideas and random thoughts running rampant in my mind these days.  Perhaps one of the most difficult goals for this piece of works is not the selection of words, but rather the plethora attempts I’ve made toward the correlation and conciseness of that which I’m about to tell you.

You’ve broken all that I held sacred inside.  This much isn’t totally your fault, as I should have known better than to let you in.  You came into my life at a very vulnerable point.  I was shrouded by thoughts of self-worthlessness, pity and despair.  I saw you as a ray of hope in an otherwise inescapable blackened abyss.  I thought my prayers had been answered.  Could this be?  Can this be the sign I’ve been waiting for…a turning point with which to better my life?  Only time could tell.

I held you in my embrace.  All of the darkness lifted from in front of my mind’s eye.  I realized the void in my life had been filled.  I was not only accepted, but I was wanted…sought after.  This was the first misguiding I had overlooked.  You had made me happier than I had ever though possible.  The sheer bliss I felt in your presence was simply indescribable.  For the first time in my life, I felt completely comfortable for being me.  I didn’t need to put on a mask to allow you to see only what I wanted you to see, and for that I am undeniably in your debt. 

As time went on…I developed emotions for you that were completely foreign to me.  This is not to say they were bad, anything but.  I felt, for the first time…ever, love for someone not of blood relation to me.  Oh my god, it was so hard to keep it in.  It finally got to the point that I had to share with you this elation that was swelling up inside of me.

It was then that the bomb hit.  Once I had built up the nerve to share this amazing thing with you, you turned around and threw it back in my face.  Right then and there, you broke me.  There is no language know to man that could have possibly described the raw, unadulterated terror that swept over me at that very moment.  I had hit a new low that I will never forget.

After that, time passed, things changed and I carried on the best I knew how.  I had to constantly adapt to carry this new burden that plagued my soul.  Through much reflection, though, I had pretty come to make peace with everything that had transpired.  It was only recently that I truly figured out what the problem was that was gnawing at the back of my mind.  I wasn’t in love with you at all.  I was in love with the way you made me feel.  This whole time I was dwelling on the specifics and utterly oblivious to the blatant obviousness surrounding me. 

You asked for my forgiveness and that I offer you willingly, because that’s the type of man I am.  You’ve opened my eyes to the world.  I can now, at long last, say that I’m over you…and we’re done.  Thank you.