Express' Arion Berger is your tour guide in the world of "American Idol."
I WILL SURVIVE: Make way for Gibbs! Barry Gibb, the brother from another era who will be half-heartedly guest-mentoring the four remaining contestants, is a great modern artiste who defined disco with his and his brothers' contributions to the "Saturday Night Fever" soundtrack. You know what I love? I love disco night!
The kids will be singing two songs each, so we can get our full four hours' worth or however long this show is.
Melinda: She sings "Love You Inside and Out" (watch it here). She's set the bar so high that the judges kind of yawn and tell her to be even better, not just a stone professional who seems incapable of hitting a bum note, but to remember to pull focus and let her back-up singer training go.
Simon is hoping she'll whip it out in the next song. By now, I feel sorry for these poor kids, with their future such-as-it-is fame assured and all. Pimping cars every week and having to deal with a different bewildered guest mentor and now having to learn two ancient disco-era numbers on which their future depends. At least they seem to like each other, this crew, which is refreshing.
Paula set her makeup gun on Outer Space Hooker and then aimed it at her hair.
OK, so, "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" (watch here). Melinda is more magnetic this time around, but it's still kind of really good and boring. The judges go all Stephanie Mills on her ass, a good call. (And who remembers Stephanie Mills anymore? Ah, the compliment that cuts both ways.) Simon, still obsessed with the voting, states that that second song has put her back in the semifinals. Like she was ever in danger.
Melinda: Safe.