My eldests joke to me this week....
"Hey Mum"
"Yeah?"
"Why does everyone hang out with the snow man?" she asks
"um I don't know, why does everyone hang out with the snowman?" I reply
"Because he is cool"
lol
The best thing about a clapper is.. it doubles as a strobe light during sex
There was two elderly ladies who had been friends for years, they had been on many adventures together but lately their adventures had been meeting a couple of times a week to play cards. One day during their card game, one says to the other, "now don't get mad at me, I know we have been friends for a very long time, but I can't seem to remember your name, I've really tried to remember but just can't seem to remember it, so what is your name?"
Her friend glared at her for three minutes, she glared some more and finally she said "When do you need to know?"
A good man can make you feel, sexy, strong, able to take on the world.... no wait, that's vodka. Vodka does that.
Grown men who can fit into skinny jeans, might as well put on a t-shirt that says "Trust me girls... if i can fit in here, you're not interested"