Darkheart's blog: "Just my personal feelings"

What can I say about you sweetie, all I can say is that if it wasn't for you I would have gone crazy a long time ago. You truely are a good friend and i'm lucky to have you,:)

What can I say about you sweetie, you make me cry and laugh. But sometimes I think you really don't want me and Devon to even be friends. That sucks because I love you both,and true I miss him like hell and I think about him to much,but then again I think about you a lot more then you know. I just hope someday we will meet all 3 of us.

I love the way we hit it off. I wish you were here. I know that we would have a good,fun time if we were near each other. I just love the way we turn on each other we seem to know what the other one wants. Just wish You were around more!!

my feelings tonight,well there all over the place. I'm being pulled in too many ways. I'm just so uncentered right now. Part of me is on my mom,another part of me is on Devon,another part is on weasle and phoenix,another part is on kitty anf the crap she's pulling. Just to much, I just don't want to be here or there.Grrrrr!!!

Devon ,my dear friend where the hell are you. I would like to know. Why didn't you tell me that the last thing I wrote for you made you feel that way,why did I have to her it from another friend. I wish you would check in with someone we are all worried about you. I hate it when you take off like you do,but at the same time I know thats just you.

I mean, I just don't know how to feel or what to feel right now. I feel as if the whole damn world has taken a shit on me and I can't get the damn shit off of me. I mean everything I say or do I end up geting hurt one way or another. I'm sick of everyone keeping the true feeling from me and i'm sick of everyone thinking they know who i truely am better then myself, I worked my ass of to stand on my two feet and i feel like someone has cut them off. I mean my life is so fucked up right now that I'm shocked it has taken me this long to reach the point of not haveing faith or reason any more. Like what the hell am I to do. It's like damn if I do and damn if i don't. Just so sick of this shit, I'm sick of geting knocked around when I'm at my lowest. I mean what the fuck,it's like I care about all these damn people and none of them give a shit about me or my feelings.

I just have to stop and wonder about a few things. i mean why do people hurt other people ,I mean whatdo you get out of it. I mean I sit and i wonder after everything that the people who I thought as a friends have done to me in the last month or so,I just don't get it,I mean i've never set out to hurt any of them or lie to them,I sure as hell have been nothing but me and I don't get it. I mean is that all I ever was just someone they had around to hurt and use ,what the hell is with that crap. I mean really,if you have to hurt and be assholes to someone who would give you the shirt off of their backs just to feel good about yourself,that doesn't say much about you does. Thats all I'll write for now.