I have spent a lot of time over the last few weeks thinking about why there are so many things about myself that I would change and what would cause me to have so many insecurities. Well, I think I finally figured it out (and giys do not take offense) it is men. Not every man is this way mind you, but the men that I have dated in the past have beat my self confidence down to the point that even though is slowly creeping up it is still pretty mediocre! I have been told that I am fat, ugly, mean, and unattractive to the point that I actually started believing it! I am going to work on it now that I know what I need to work on! :) I guess just from hearing that I am not wanted and not pretty it kind of put me in a place that was not too full of self worth. However, while I was working tonight I sat down for break and started thinking about myself and I have come to the conclusion that I am an amazingly strong person and that anyone that can't see that, appreciate that, and love me for that isn't worth my time! I work two full time jobs, go to school online, have 2 kids and a cat, and still make time for a boyfriend and sleep! It takes a good person to be able to handle of that and the other stuff that is going on in my life! I also looked at some pics of me and you know what....despite popular belief I am not ugly! I am no super model and never will be but I think I am pretty damn attractive young lady! I just wonder what makes men be so mean! Anyways! I am really tired and I have to work again tomorrow so I bette rget in the bed! I just wanted to document my thoughts! I'll write mroe another time! :)
