Robin Cropper
Juvenile Procedures
Monday Night;1830-2100
L.Jobes##
Last night I read The Child Called "It" and The Lost Boy. Although I had previously read the book, I had not read it while being a parent. I think that changed my perspective on the book, a lot. While reading through the first few chapters, I had trouble imagining how any mother could put her child through such torture. What made this woman snap? She was a wonderful mom, just on top of the world. Then almost overnight, she began horrifically abusing her son. I cannot imagine what was going through her mind, or how she got any sick twisted pleasure out of torturing her own child. The boy’s father would not even help him. I can not imagine how he felt, abused by his mother and neglected by his father. Then, after he was "freed" from her, he began bouncing from foster home to foster home and getting in trouble, while still longing for his mother's warm embrace. As he put it, he kept waiting to hear those three words from his mother.
This woman, Roevera, was such a wonderful mom. He discusses all the fun “The Family” used to have, prior to his mother’s change. They would go on family trips, eat meals together and do the normal things families do. Then one day his mother changed. She was drinking, so it’s obvious the alcohol played its part in her behavior. But what caused her to enjoy torturing him? Why not the other children? How was this woman able to do things to this child, like burning his arm on the stove, placing him in a closed room with an ammonia/bleach mix, and forcing him to sleep in the basement, without feeling guilty? I personally almost cry each time I have to spank my own children. Hearing them cry, beg and plead, it breaks my heart, and they are only begging for things like, cookies, TV time or to sleep in my bed. How a mother could starve her own child, beat him mercilessly and outright torture him is inconceivable. The fact that actually enjoyed torturing him is even more disturbing. She grinned and laughed at his expense while doing these things to him. She would not allow his father to even help. Although, I feel that man should have stepped to the plate and rescued his son. He was just as bad, if not worse, than the mother was. He allowed the abuse to continue. When his son begged for help, the father offered none. He could have rescued his son, but he chose not to help. This concept sickens me. I want to rescue every child who suffers at all. I want to help everyone in need. How someone could not help their own child, truly baffles me. Luckily, he did have people, who after a long while, began to notice the bruises, cuts, torn clothing and his obviously malnourished state.
That day the police officer took David from the school, after his teachers and principles notified the authorities of the deplorable conditions, in which his mother kept him, he was still scared she was going to get him. He was physically free from her torture but mentally he was still right where she wanted him. He longed to be a part of something. He wanted acceptance at school, with friends, and especially at home. It’s understandable that he began to get into trouble. He was finally able to make his own decisions. When the “bad kids” at school realized his weakness they were able to use that to their advantage. Each time, his actions got worse. He began stealing, later punctured a teachers tire and almost set a classroom on fire. I admired the fact that he did, however, realize setting the fire was wrong, and tried to put out the fire. After that point, I think he started to realize what he was doing to his life. He began to “grow up” in a sense. After all he had been through in his life, all he needed was for someone to love and accept him. And during the various stays at foster homes, I think he truly began to believe he was worthy of love. I was happy to see he began to gain morals, values and work ethic. So many times kids who come from abusive homes, be it physical, mental or sexual, choose to take the other path and begin using drugs, being promiscuous and breaking the law. It’s hard to cope when you experience trauma at a young age. So many children today come from broken homes, or homes where their parents were abusive, in some fashion, either to one another or the children. Drugs also have become such a large part of our communities, that these children use drugs as their scapegoat. They begin using drugs as their way of being accepted, like David was stealing to be accepted. These children need intense psychotherapy. It may not work for all of them. They have to want it.
As the number of drug addicts and alcoholics rise, so do the number of children who are the same situations as David. Statistically, these children will also grow to be alcoholics, drug addicts, and worst of all, abusers. Abuse begets abuse, begets abuse... and so forth. It’s a vicious cycle. I am glad David was able to break that cycle and become a successful person, but what about the millions of children who don’t? More and more often you’re hearing of 13-year-old children physically and sexually abusing other children, at home, school, wherever. Are these children to blame? At what point should the parent’s be held responsible for their children’s actions? When a parent assaults their child, allows their child to be assaulted, then the child does what he knows, whose fault is that? When that child grows to be a 30-year-old man, who beats his wife, and rapes his own children, is jail really the proper place? Unfortunately, rehabilitative care is not as easy to give. It’s easier to lock them up and throw away the key, rather than spent the time and money to make them better people.
Reading this book brings to light so many questions I have, as well as so many arguments I have as to the treatment of children who come from abusive homes. It would be easy to write a paper over the cycle of abuse, and how I feel about it. This book is the perfect example of how abuse starts, happens, and continues. People that do know, just look the other way. David’s father, grandmother, and neighbors knew. Why didn’t they say anything? Thankfully today, DHS and the police take child abuse cases more seriously, but it’s still not fool proof. Many kids are home schooled. No one sees the abuse. The abusers are so many times so manipulative that other people se the abuser as the victim, Which was the case with David’s mother. Despite how badly she treated her son, she was always the victim when other people questioned her. She would say David was such an unruly child she had to harshly discipline him. People believed these stories she concocted. I got very frustrated reading this story, realizing these things happen on a daily basis, and no one stops them. So many times people just look the other way. It’s easier to do, yes, but don’t people have a heart?
In the last chapter, the last paragraph, he was discussing how his whole life, all he wanted was for his mother to tell him she loved him. During all the abuse, and even after, all he wanted was to be loved. He got that love, from his foster mother. She was more of a mother to him, then his own mother was. After reading that book, I felt like more should be done to stop these kinds of things from happening. With programs like DARE, GREAT and Scared Straight, institutions for children, like Meadow lake and Shadow Mountain, and various other local school programs, children are able to see what drugs, alcohol, gangs and violence can do to a family. I feel the government should put more funding into these programs. Helping children see what they can make of themselves is far greater than locking them in jail for doing wrong. Starting a young age and showing them the right path. David was in juvenile hall, and was given that second chance at life, to make something of himself. And he did. Children need to be shown what could happen if they make the wrong choices but also what great things can happen with the right choices. I think this book was a great way to start this class, as it shows what so many children are going through, and possibly why they may be doing the things they are doing. More people should read this book, as it would open up a world, which even in today’s society, is so often ignored.
