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"I AM AWESTRUCK BY THE FACT THAT PEOPLE WILL BITCH UNTIL THEY ARE BLUE ABOUT THE RISING PRICE OF A GALLON OF GAS, YET THEY ARE SO WILLING TO PAY $6 FOR A SINGLE CUP (YES...8 OUNCES) OF STARBUCKS COFFEE". by Bunny
A gay man, finally deciding he could
no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner.
He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom,
I have something to tell you, I'm gay!"
His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about
to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay, .. doesn't that mean you have oral sex with other men?"
The guy said nervously,"Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right."
His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around and WHACKED him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't youEVER complain about the taste of my cooking again!"
PLEASE RATE THIS FOR ME!
Old Love
A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.
He throws the kite up in the air.
The wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth.
He tries this a few more times with no success.
All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells to her husband, 'You need a piece of tail.'
The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, 'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.'
It amazes me that 100 cases of swine flu break out and everyone is running around wearing protective masks, yet a million get aids and people still don't use condoms. Go figure.
Bunny
HAHA ANOTHER GREAT EMAIL I GOT FROM A FOREIGNER. THESE THINGS CRACK ME UP!
I NEED LOVE........
I understand you are the only whom I am seeking, I share with you all your sorrows and joys, I will be your best friend and life partner I like to travel very much. It is very interesting to get more knowledge about the new countries, new people and traditions. ItÌs great to have such a possibility. IÌm a quiet, kind, loyal.. A great meaning for me is a humanÌs soul. Circle of my interests is various. I like the literature, music, and cinema. personality traits are calm, honest, kind, loyal, flexible, elegant, sociable, sensitive, gentle, cheerful, optimistic, romantic .My perception of an ideal , I would like to see near me clever, intelligent, and reliable woman. Which would require my emotional heat, capable to like and respect . I have to let you know as well, that am an honest person as I have said, and I have to be honest with that, I donÌt have any girl friend at present now and am not in any serious relationship. Am a great giver because I so much believes in the multiplied returns and thatÌs why I does lack anything. I never speak negatively about people, I take less and listen more to people and does not jump into other peopleÌs affairs.. Am very understanding, open minded with a heart of forgiving, loving and caring with sense of humor, hard working with cheerful character, honest , sincere, kind, warm, horse, chicken, fruit with apple, pears, orange and grapes dogâs and intelligent with good look . have fully decided to be a role model to and a good, loving and caring .But I doesnât want to mess myself with the wrong person. Basically I decided to settle with a nice, good loving and caring serious relationship in the United States of America and I know thatÌs you Dear. Do you really need me to be your someone like me..? Do you really want me by your side? I really need a woman in my life....God relationship and everlasting love. Love can make you do things that you never thought possible! Well, I think this is how I can tell you more about me and how to express the kinda feeling am having to our new friendship. Hopeful to hear from you cos I really want to Know more about u...Ok .my yahoo ID: ...messenger yahoo!!! 60 yrs .are up. Picâs are make !
PLEASE RATE THIS FOR ME!
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One old lady turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"
But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly .
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.
But alas,
Once the princess touched them, they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached. He told the princess,
'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red .
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.
Question: What was in the prince's pants?
(Scroll down for the answer)
M&M's of course
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What were you thinking??
