PITA BUNNY's blog: "LAUGH UR AZZ OFF!!!"

I saw you across a crowded room. Among all the others that were there, The lights seemed to shine down on you alone. I knew then I had to have you for my own. Willingly, you came with me to my home. From the car, I carried you & threw the door. Looking at you, I admire your body, your well shaped legs, and breasts. Slowly I remove what wraps, around your body so tightly, fitting you like a glove. Exposing your tender white skin. From your neck I remove your charms, and carry you off in my arms, to the warm water that awaits. The water cascades down your neck, flowing over your soft breasts then, making your legs glisten with wetness. Droplets of water cover your taut skin. My hands rub your body, ummmm running them threw the beads of water. Making them trickle down off your body. I place my fingers inside you. You are warm and moist, so ready. I carry your still dripping body, to a laying place, so that I can put inside you what was well prepared to enter you before we even came through the door. As soon as I lay you down your legs spread open wide. You are ready now and so am I. I put a little in slowly at first, getting a feel for how much you can take in. I put in more, you take it willingly. In anticipation, faster and faster I put it in, pushing it in deeply as far as I can, until I can't put any more in, you are so tight. With your legs wrapped tightly, not wanting to release any of it, I make you so hot for a very long time, until your sweet juices escape from within. Then I taste you, with my tongue at first, your skin is so soft and tender. I taste more of you with my mouth, you are so hot and moist, you taste so good. Your juices coating my mouth, making me drool in anticipation of eating you more, with every taste. "Oh yes", I say to you, I must say Grace "Thank God for Butterball turkey.... Amen

On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her Wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired MARINE, And asked, 'Honey, do you remember this?' He looked up from his newspaper and said; 'Yes dear, I do. You wore That same negligee the night we were married' She said, 'Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me That night?' He nodded and said 'Yes dear, I said; Oh baby, I'm going to suck the Life out of those boobs and screw your brains out.' She giggled and said; 'That's exactly what you said. So now it's Fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to Say tonight?' He looked her up and down and said; ' Mission Accomplished.'

'TENJOOBERRYMUDS'... > > > > > > This is a hoot .... !!!! > > By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND TENJOOBERRYMUDS'... > > > > In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to > > learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following > > conversation until you are able to understand the term 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS'. > > > > With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in... Now, here goes... > > > > The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and room-service somewhere in the good old U S A today...... > > > > Room Service : 'Morrin. Roon sirbees.' > > > > Guest : 'Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.' > > > > Room Service: ' Rye. Roon sirbees..morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???' > > > > Guest: 'Uh.... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs.' > > > > Room Service: 'Ow July den?' > > > > Guest: '.....What??' > > > > Room Service: 'Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?' > > > > Guest: 'Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. scrambled, please.' > > > > Room Service: 'Ow July dee baykem? Crease?' > > > > Guest: 'Crisp will be fine.' > > > > Room Service: 'Hokay. An Sahn toes?' > > > > Guest: 'What?' > > > > Room Service: 'An toes. July Sahn toes?' > > > > Guest: 'I... don't think so.' > > > > RoomService: 'No? Judo wan sahn toes???' > > > > Guest: 'I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn > > toes' means.' > > > > RoomService: 'Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?' > > > > Guest: 'Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... > > Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine.' > > > > RoomService: 'We bodder?' > > > > Guest: 'No, just put the bodder on the side.' > > > > RoomService: 'Wad?!?' > > > > Guest: 'I mean butter... just put the butter on the side' > > > > RoomService: 'Copy?' > > > > Guest: 'Excuse me?' > > > > RoomService: 'Copy...tea..meel?' > > > > Guest: 'Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything.' > > > > RoomService: 'One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy ... rye??' > > > > Guest: 'Whatever you say.' > > > > RoomService: 'Tenjooberrymuds.' > > > > Guest: 'You're welcome' > > > > Remember I said 'By the time you read through this YOU WILL 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS' '.....and you do, don't you!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My wife gets mad and I don't even know water problem is! SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: MUSHROOM Yo, when all my familia gets in the car, there's not mushroom... SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: CHICKEN My girlfriend wanted me to go to the store, but chicken go by herself. SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: LIVER & CHEESE Some guy tried to sweet talk my woman.. I told him, yo loco, liver alone, cheese mine. SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: JULY Ju tol me ju were goin to the store and July to me! Julyer! SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: WAFER I wanted to go with my mom to the flea market pero she didn't wafer me! SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: HERPES I had some cake to share with my wife, this is my piece this is herpes SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: TISSUE I told you if you didn't know how to do it, I could tissue. SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: CASHEW I was running after you but I couldn't cashew! SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: BISHOP We went out to the club y mi vieja got drunk and fell down, so I had to pick the bishop.

country boy comes to the big city for the 1st time. he gets off the bus and walks thru the depot... they have such wonders! machines that'll give you a pop, candy, take your picture....and he sees a machine with a hole the size of a breadbox , chest high, that says " your shirts pressed, $!" "i gotta try that!" and puts a tee shirt in it. a board comes up, and iron comes down, presses, starches and folds it and shoots it back at him. " well i'll be damned!" next he sees a machine, hole at foot level, that says " your shoes shined,$!" he puts his boots in, and brushes come down, polish sqirts on, a buffer comes down and shoots them back at him. " i will be damned!" he goes in the restroom, and there's a machine, with a round hole at waist level.... "your wife away from home.....$1" " OH BOY!" out comes the dollar, he inserts himself.................. and starts screaming and shouting and pulls himself out!!!!!! and there's a button sewed on the end. what did YOU think it would do? :)

PLEASE RATE FOR ME Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts. Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!

please rate this for me! THE TODDLER DIET People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don' t get enough to eat (the starvation diet) , you don' t get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all- meat diet) . Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets , or quit after 3 days. Well, now there 's the new Toddler Miracle Diet. Over the years you may have noticed that most two year olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is avail able to all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet, other wise, you may be seeing him after wards . Good Luck !!! DAY ONE Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly . Eat two bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor . Take one bite of toast , then smear the jelly over your face and cloth . Lunch : Four crayons (any color ), a handful of potato chips , and a glass of milk ( three sips only, then spill the rest) . Dinner: A dry stick , two pennies and a nickel, four sips of flat Sprite. Bedtime snack : Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor . DAY TWO Break fast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye. Lunch : Half tube of " Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired. After noon snack : Lick an all- day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again . Then bring inside and drop on rug. Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool- Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon . DAY THREE Break fast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup , eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass . After breakfast, pick up yesterday's sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair . Lunch : Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor . Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up. Dinner: Dish of ice cream , handful of potato chips , some red punch . Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible. FINAL DAY Breakfast: A quarter tube of tooth paste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive . Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes , add half a cup of sugar . Once cereal is soggy , drink milk and feed cereal to dog. Lunch : Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it. Dinner: Drop pieces of spaghetti onto back of dog, insert meatball into ear. Dump pudding into Kool- Aid and suck up with a straw . REPEAT DAYS AS NEEDED Hope this works it came highly recommended lol bunny

PLEASE RATE THIS FOR ME! THANKS! XOX THANKS MR. HORNY! XOX Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."

Thanks tic tac!!!!! lol

thank you tic tac! roflmao