by Peter Krueger (June 1998)
„Do you think that time can change anything?“
„Time doesn’t change anything. People do!“
„Do you really think so?“
I thought for awhile, then looked at Leris for the first time in hours.
She looked pale and tired. Aging.
And I wondered whether I was right.
„Are we in control?“
„In control of what?“
Leris looked at me and smiling she said:
„You see?“
„I found the answer!“
Leris came running into the room with tears of joy in her eyes.
Never had I seen her in such a state of utter happiness.
„I found the answer! I found it! I found the answer“
„To what?“
Suddenly her smile vanished and she became silent.
„Why is it our friends never call for a visit?“
„We don’t have any friends.“
Leris thought for a moment, then said reluctantly:
„Well, that’s their bloody problem!“
Leris was sad. And when I asked her why she said:
„Because Nippy is dead.“
„Do you still remember him?“
„Sure I do.“
„Well, he’s not dead then.“
„But I remember that he is!“
„So you’d better stop remembering.“
„Is it easier to forget or to keep in mind?“
„That depends on what you’re thinking of.“
Leris smiled:
„Yes, some thoughts take more room than others.“
„What do you mean?“
And still smiling she said:
„Forget it.“
„People shouldn’t hurt people!“
„But they do!“
I hesitated, then smiled, then frowned :
„You win!“
Leris was reading a book:
„What is a metaphor?“
„An image in language. A picture you use to illustrate something“
„Oh, I always thought it was the other way round!“
And she closed the book never to open it again.
„I have written a poem!“
Leris looked at me as if feeling uncomfortable
„Another one?“
„You don’t want to hear it?“
„No. I liked the first one!“
Leris woke up from a nightmare:
„You...you were dead!“
„It’s all right. I’m here with you, alive and well.“
Then she started crying:
„So I... I must still be afraid of losing you!“
„What’s the opposite of killing?“
I was not sure what to answer:
„Giving birth I guess.“
„And killing is a crime?“
„Sure!“
„So what’s giving birth?“
Again I was not sure:
„Some things have no opposite.“
Leris frowned:
„So if crime has no opposite, birth is nothing really.“
„Look here! Isn’t this beautiful?“
Leris held out her open hand to me. It was empty.
„I see nothing really.“
And Leris turned, then ran away in anger.
„I wish I could take a look at my eyes.“
„There’s a mirror in the bathroom.“
„But that’s not my eyes.“
„Sure they are.“
Leris went to the mirror and returned trembling with fear:
„Then that wasn’t me looking!“
„Can we go out?“
„Sure. Where do you want to go?“
Leris frowned:
„Not go outside! I mean go out... like fire.“
I thought, then felt what she meant:
„I... guess we can!“
Then she smiled:
„So where do you want to go?“
Leris was sad:
„I wonder if I am capable of loving.“
„Why, can’t you think of anything you love?“
„No. I can only think of things I hate!“
„See? You don’t have to worry!“
