I don't know what is going on in my head lately, no i am not depressed as so many people would assume lol I have just been thinking allot and weighing my life and what im surrounded by. Im getting tired of all those people who are so self absorbed that they have the need to make other people's achievements seem less than they are just to make themselves feel better. Im tired of people who re so engaged in their own agenda's they fail to see that they are hurting everyone around them. I wonder if they ever stop to think about the consequences of their actions? Or do they even care? I am also tired of people who try to change who you are and what you’re all about. It's very simple the core of who a person is does not change. You can make changes in your life to better yourself but not until you want to. Allot of people know that...or so I thought. Changing someone is like beating your head against a brick wall, it's not going to move, not unless it wants to. All the beating is going to achieve for you is wasted time, a headache and maybe a little what the fuck was I thinking? So here is a list of things that I will never change for those who are inclined to read...that’s what blogs are for right?
- I love my friends they are my extended family and ill be damned if someone tries to fuck with that, you can try but I warn you it's not going to be pretty.
- I love life and living every minute of it to the fullest, so do not try and cage me and make me what you consider tame and normal, I am me and yes I can be a little wild at times but you don't like it? You know where to go...if not ill draw you a one finger map
- I love dancing, I go out to clubs and bars and karaoke with my friends ALL the time, it's fun it lets steam out and no I don't go to get laid or hook up so stop assuming and get over it
- Love is an enigma to me, yes I actually used that word lmao I have been used, abused tossed out with the trash and gotten all the I love you's come back this time will be different blah blah's, BUT i am still going.....love hurts, love requires sacrifice and ill be damned if a few assholes ruin the chances of me finding that one person I can be at one with. As little as I do understand of it that is still my stand point.
- Music is life to me, I could not ever go one day without listening or singing to the songs that I love. music inspires, it brings light into your darkest days, and it gives you that little extra push when you think you just can’t go on. Music to me is like the imprints one persons soul carries over the melodies to touch our hearts and let us know were not alone in how we feel. (EXCEPT for shake your ass music, that’s just the body’s natural desire to shake that ass girl lmao) Music is fun it lets you release your inhibitions and be yourself especially when no one is watching. So call me crazy or whatever but yeah I love my music fuckers deal with it
- I have a very strong personality, I am a smart ass I love to laugh....these things are not going to change, im that happy bouncy person and I wont let you fuck up my day.
- I am strong; I have been through enough in my short life to realize what im worth, what life is worth and the things that are important to me.
- I am a student.....Yes I just started going to school and no I wont blame it on my ex's who held me back, I had a part in letting them stop me. But from this point forward there is no stop, I say I want my masters and then I AM going for my Doctorate. You can either stand by this and support me or fade into the wallpaper and just like your surroundings fade into the background.
So there that’s what ive been contemplating lately...life? everything in between I don’t know. In either case im sure we all eventually come to our own conclusions and wow what a place to post them a fubar blog lol Like ive said before....I guess that’s what this is for. The rantings of me...the things I don’t often say out loud but think to myself.
