Im sitting here in my new place...its finally feeling like home...got alot more work to do...got my new bed...its fuckin awsome!!!! Black/Brown Leather sleigh bed...even splurged and got a new mattress and box spring...thick pillow top...comfy as hell...sleeping really well....now just have to get the room painted and the pictures and such on the walls..I finally feel free again, without the restraints of so called friends who want to drain me dry of my funds and life force...so much so i was off today and said fuck it and went to orlando with my roomate for dinner at Emerils...dropped 150 bucks on dinner...it was well worth it...great food and conversation. The weather has been good till today...even got some sun last week...laying by my new pool!!! but today is cold as shit...even had to put the heat on. My next move is to the keys...i am not doing this cold shit anymore LOL! Last doc visit went half well...oh well...im just gonna keep moving along...im not letting anything or anyone interfere with my forward momentum . I have goals, plans and a life to strive for , and i plan on accomplishing it all ...and doing it all on my own. I cannot see myself in any type of relation with anyone untill i have become the person i want to be, financially, emotionally and career wise. This may seem a bit selfish and cold, but distraction is not an option anymore..and all relationships do is distract one from their goals and life plan. The only way i would allow it is if i ever met someone who would walk with me on the path, not against me. And I have found that the majority dictates that most relationships are a force of two working against each other trying to conform the other to their needs and likings, instead of a process of working together to build something that suits both as a unit. Ahhh welcome to the me generation. Sorry but if im gonna be about me...then damn it...im gonna be ALL about me...and no one else LMAO I have more to offer than the ability to be a wife, and child bearer...the complexities inside are varied and have no ability to mesh with one looking for that. Eh..enough of that...truth of the matter is i have a heart and its been , bruised, battered and torn apart. So i no longer easily look for anything that involves my heart.
