well just got the news my younger brother signed papers for the marines this week right this moment is her at a base doing his physical. I dont like this my older brother was a marine and just rejoined and im mad at him for that and now josh yeah right what the hell is going thru these guys mind. josh says his reasonin is he wants to go to iraq and fight for his country ok i understand BUT i dont want to have to worry every day about an attack in iraq and spend time wondering if its him if hes ok. i dont want that. AND on top of this my older brother john just informed us hes being deployed to japan with his whole family of course but that makes him on the ohter side of the country with my niece ill get to see her then shell be gone for 3years ill miss all her first her first words her first steps. ill miss it all and that sucks ive always wanted a close relationship with my nieces and nephews and one i cant see and the other isnt going to grow up knowin me yes she will know she has and aunt jackie but she wont know who i am when she finally sees me ill just be another stranger and that sucks. ive always been a family person and well my family of 5 kids and mom and dad is now 3 kids and mom and dad but one sibling doesnt talk 2 me she hates my guts, and so that leaves my younger sister thats all i have left and that sucks really sucks. i dont know im just upset and angry about this whole thing. but i know they need to do what they need to do i just pray nothing happens to any of them cuz ill fall apart i cant handle losing a sibling or a family member
