Marriage (Part I )
>
>Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and
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>after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
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>"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
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>I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
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> I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
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>I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
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>I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
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>when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
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>give me a hard time about it.
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>Those are my rules. Any comments?"
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>
>His new bride said:
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>"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex
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>here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."
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>(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)
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> ************************************************
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> Marriage (Part II)>
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> Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
>anniversary!
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> The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
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>that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"
>
>
> "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
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>that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"
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> (HE ASKED FOR IT!)
>
>
>*****************************************
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> Marriage (Part III)
>
>
>Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
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>Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no
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>good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
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> After some time he realizes he was nasty and
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>decides to make amends and rings her up.
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>She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,
>" What took you so long to answer to the phone?"
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> She says, "I was in bed."
>
>
>"In bed this early, doing what?"
>
>
> "Getting a second opinion!"
>
>
> (YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
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> *****************************************
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> Marriage (Part IV)
>
>
>A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
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>He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
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>wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
>
>
> One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go
>home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He
>shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"
>
>
>His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
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>shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."
>
>
>(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
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> *****************************************
>
> THE SILENT TREATMENT
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> A man and his wife were having some problems at home
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>and were giving each other the silent treatment.
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>Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife
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>to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
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>Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
>piece
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>of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would
>find it.
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>The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
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>was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
>
>
>Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he
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>noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM.
>Wake up."
>
>
> Men are not equipped for these kinds of con tests.
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> *****************************************
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> God may have created man before woman, but there
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>is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
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>
> ************** ***************************
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> Send this to smart women who need a laugh
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>and to men you think can handle it.
>
It's ......"one nation....UNDER GOD"...
or bite my fat ass and leave..!!!!!!
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TV dinner still cooling?
