Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Columbus who has recently
been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus.
My parents live in a suburb of Worthington and
one of my sisters, who lives in Dublin , is married
to a transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested
for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent
on my other two sisters, who are
prostitutes in Grove City .
I have two brothers. One is currently serving a
non-parole life sentence in Lucasville for the murder of a
teenage boy in 1994.
The other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on
charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former
Thai prostitute who lives in Atlanta and is still a part time
"working girl" in a brothel.
All things considered, my main problem is this. I
love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the
family and I certainly want to be
totally honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who is a
Michigan fan?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
