The road trip was a hell of a good time. Since I had full reign of gas and lodging costs, courtesy of a gov't credit card, I went ahead and let the trip last three days and spent some time in the South's finest shitholes of motels LOL. I never ask for much, so honestly I'd have to say that it was all a lot of fun making my way here. I formed seven different distinct road gangs. Because of them, I sailed through Alabama, from bottom corner to top opposite, at over 100 mph the whole way minus short plugs.
For those of you that don't know what a road gang is to the full term, let me explain. There's several kinds of highway speeders:
The Loner: Speeds constantly, but hates when anyone follows him. IF you follow him, he will either slow down, or depending on his temper, slam his brakes or flash to tell you to get off his ass.
The Leader: Speeds like crazy, and if people jump on his ass, the more the merrier. He has no problem with pulling you through the mess.
The Hitchhiker (ME): Does the speed limit until a Leader comes along, and promptly jumps behind them and matches speed. Should the Leader turn out to be a Loner, the Hitchhiker will immediately give way and wait for a Leader.
The Day Pass: A speeder that is speeding for immediate purposes. He's late, his wife's in labor, whatever. Be that as it may, he normally does not speed, but today he is, and he can randomly change his mind.
The Wannabe: A teenager or someone of similar intellect that has more faith in his car than is warranted (AKA a 19yr old driving Grandma's Oldsmobile and doing 110). Speeding beyond that of normal behavior is typically excessive to his car, and he'll learn that later when his engine seizes, but for right now, he's a Leader.
The Road Gang: The ultimate speeding collaboration. This group can consist of any combination of the above, except for more than two Leaders. Hitchhikers (like myself) are most comfortable in the middle of two or more cars in a Road Gang. Should a cop appear around the bend, he may get the first car, maybe the last, but never one in the middle. For the most security, a cop will typically not go near a group of three or more cars for speeding, too much hassle. They look too much like general flow of traffic.
That's why I love road gangs. They're easy to form. A few hand signals and smiles, or just finding enough speeders as we cruise, and by god you're on!
Surprisingly I only saw about nine cops from Southern Texas to Virginia. I, of course, exclude the OTHER nine cops I Saw... all in Louisiana. Those guys must be starving to death, because I saw people pulled over all over that road. It was ridiculous. I saw a newscast a while back about how Louisiana will do anything to impound your car and auction it off to make the state some money, but that was my first witness of just how many cops and how often they had someone in their sights. Craziness.
Alabama was awesome. Not a single cop through the whole place. I never went below 85, when we got stuck behind trucks. Other than that, I averaged 100. I had a leader for a while, and then a wannabe pulled me all the way to Atlanta. It was an utter blast.
I left a diamond ring on the bed in Duson, Louisiana. It was a gift from Bobbi while I was in Iraq. Luckily she decided not to pay to have me killed when I told her. I was as busted as she was about it, because I kind of liked having a pinky ring...
Had my first Blimpie's sub in Louisiana as well. I did a cold cut for the hell of it. The lady, Kat, was very nice and talked me into a bunch of extra crap that turned out to be really good, lol. I love trying new things so it wasn't a hard press.
In NC, I found a camera behind the large mirror in the bathroom of the Holiday Inn Express. I yanked it out and brought it to the front desk. They denied all knowledge, which was fair, they probably didn't know, and offered me the room for free as well as a coupon for ten free nights in the future. I Took the coupon, but had them charge me for the room that night. Why? Cuz it wasn't my tab! LOL Guess the guys in NC aren't used to people checking in and having a cam scanner in their bag and doing an immediate sweep for the hell of it. Thats the first time it ever paid off, too, LOL!
Getting to Virginia, it was as bad as my family had warned me. VA used to be a haven for fast deadly drivers like myself. If the speed limit was 50, everyone was doing 80. If it was 65, watch the hell out. I used to love it. Dr. Gridlock himself used to advise people that weren't from VA to stay the hell out if they could avoid it, because if you weren't ready for the madness, you would die. We got rated the deadliest traffic in the nation four years in a row. However, the inevitable happened. People figured out that VA rocks. FBI, MCI, CIA, the A-root server for the entire Internet, the Pentagon. We have the high-paying jobs! We have the salaries to go with them, too. So, of course, I was gone for 6 years and came back to a madhouse. They had put up neighborhoods everywhere to account for the influx, and now everything is a traffic jam of IDIOTS who looked forward to going fast, but slam their brakes at anything. Now it takes over 2 hours just to graze one edge of DC. Thanks, assholes. Glad to know you love our area, but you can leave now. Ugh.
I havent been able to stay online much these past weeks because I've been catering to the toddler of my wayward cousin, and helping my aunt cook, not to mention just driving around and visiting family in the area. It's been a lot of fun, but I'll have my place soon and be back to my usual hermit ways, :P.
So far I've just been visiting the various homes of my family in the area, and, after doing the long hugs and hellos, I end up fixing stuff or helping them hang things on walls, god knows what.
Either way, it feels really... REALLY good. I'll still be deployed from this location, but this feels like home more than any other station I've had. So, with my next trip to Iraq, my fourth it would be, I can really, LITERALLY say that wehn it's over... I'm on my way home. When I go back, probably in 8 months or so, it will be the first time that my family had the opportunity, as a whole, to greet me on the way back. I almost can't wait.
Goodnight out there, everyone. Thanks for listening this long.
