Well, I'm awake as usual by myself. Too much has been going through my mind lately and it's insane inside this place. I've noticed how down and depressed I've been for some time now and I now understand it is my own fault.
I wanted to grow up and be an' adult way too fast and now I'm stumbling foot over foot with my decisions. What happened to being innocent and pure and enjoying life. Instead I'm messing up time after time and clinging to things I want so desperately to come true. It isn't, it won't and I hate to give up hope but seriously it's been a long hard road. And this time the bump knocked me off and it feels like it's time to move on.
Now, before you think I'm all emo cry baby I'm really not. I'm just so sick and tierd of being, well...sick and tierd. I need to kick it in gear, as well as the people around me because this is Heather's life and Heather needs to fucking get it together.
I feel bad for some things I've done recently, but I won't let that hold me back. Sometimes I feel like it is perfect and I should just spread my wings and fly away from this place. Leave all of it behind me. And then I don't want to regret although all I'm doing now is regreting/regreting/regreting.
This is so not the time of night to be babbling on here, I just had a really hard reality-slap in the face today at work. Sometimes coworkers are right and when I feel myself swell up with tears over personal shit then I know I'm not happy. I can't even talk about it without starting the fucking water works. LAME.
I wish I could get it all together, do it and just go with it. BUT AHH! I'm not a teen anymore, noooo more. Times to make sparks and fireworks happen rather than day dream it all away. Before I know it I'll be 40, alone, bitter with 30 snakes like a fucking old cat lady. Oh yeehaw.
xoxo
Miss Classy Cunt
Hello
I've waited here for you
Everlong
Tonight
I throw myself into
And out of the red, out of her head she sang
Come down
And waste away with me
Down with me
Slow how
You wanted it to be
I'm over my head, out of her head she sang
Chorus-
And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang
Verse 2-
Breathe out
So I could breathe you in
Hold you in
And now
I know you've always been
Out of your head, out of my head I sang
Chorus-
And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang
Chorus-
And I wonder
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang
