Oil Tank Trampoline
2007 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin
(24 June 2007, Colorado) If you get "Footloose" and cut the rug on on an oil tank, be sure not to light a cigarette (or bong of weed) else you may soon be walking up the proverbial "Stairway to Heaven".
News reports say a crude oil storage tank exploded as two teens were jumping on it, hurling the youths to their deaths. The tank, owned by Pinnacle Oil Company, exploded during a party in Routt National Forest. The victims were identified as Samuel and Christopher, 17 and 19.
After smoking marijuana and liquoring themselves up at this "popular party spot," the "Footloose" teens decided that it would be fun to leap and cavort upon a mostly-empty oil tank. Their energetic "Saturday Night Fever" gyrations caused fumes to leak from the relief valve...
"There were several ignitions sources," according to Rio Blanco County Undersheriff Michael Joos. One teenager was smoking, and there was a bonfire nearby. One or another of these "ignition sources" sparked a flashdance that sent the two teens hurtling 150 yards away from the explosion.
So let's go over the Check Points, aka The Rules:
1. Reproduction: at 17 and 19, they weren't married, nor had they reproduced, nor can they now reproduce. Check!
2. Excellence: They thought it was wise to jump up and down on an oil tank containing 160 barrels of crude oil, while stoned out of their gourds. Check!
3. Self Selection: These two were stoned insensible, and drunker then the town drunk, while dancing on a oil tank exuding flammable vapors. And there's a campfire nearby. Check!
4. Maturity: At 17 and 19, both are over the minimum age of 16. Check!
5. Veracity: MSNBC.com and AP. Big check.
In the end, this was definitely a "Footloose" dance that turned into a "Flash*BOOM*Dance!
